Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The worst sin - perhaps the only sin - passion can commit, is to be joyless.















"that's irrelevant"; "i just want to be happy, what's wrong with that? can u not joke around so much?"; "i thought u like that"; "i dont"; "and im trying to make u happy, i thought im doing everything u ask me to"; "no, dont, dont do that, dont start to push everything to me, saying that is my fault and make it sounds like that's my responsibility and im the one that make u so, i never ask u to do anything, if we love someone we compromise, i cant, thats why im being honest with u, i dont want us to lose it"; i hate the fact that u make me doubt myself.

Monday, March 30, 2009

When you take a risk and step out of the norm, you run the risk and sometimes you fail. But you only fail if you give up.















“如果我在你年轻的时候就遇见你, 我不可能会那么喜欢你, 你相信吗?”; “我相信”; 你微笑着对我说; 但是你年轻的时候我都还没有在呀; “想要染个发,应该会看来年轻些”; 有时候我真的不知道你只是在告诉我事情还是在询问我意见; 不过再说我也不会有什么特别的意见因为我就是喜欢你这样子- 你老的样子。

Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself - and thus make yourself indispensable















经过了那一晚;
突然间我明白了;
你说我这样会很吃亏;
我是应该要再从容一点放开一点的;
给自己也给别人机会;
不止一次的机会;
人总不能太断言;
要留后路;
这是和他见面这12小时里所得出来的结论。
















还有十分钟到9点; 电话响; “在做什?”; “没什么,在看DVD”; “吃了吗?”; 都要九点了谁还没吃呀; “可以陪你吃啊”; “好,我们去吃汉堡”; 最近你都很爱和我开一些让我翻白眼超无聊的玩笑; 我不知道是应该生气还是剁地; 其实都是在想念对方的; 见面迫不急待就update着近况; 原来你打算在这里开一间公司; 大计划; 我也只有听着的份; 到你家抽烟喝酒; 问你为什么又突然抽烟了; “because i can”; 那是哪码子的答案嘛; “well, you can go rob a bank and say because i can”; u get the point; 很多事不是因为你给这样子的理由就可以通过的我觉得是有一点不负责任; 就有可能是那老调牙的你知道为什么只是不想告诉我罢了; 罢了罢了罢了; 我也不是很想知道; 我倔强的牛脾气也只有你能斗得过; 对你说着回乡的事和家人相处的事; 心知应该怎么去做; 不就是改变自己迎合别人然后屈服又同时间觉得受委屈吗? 在职场已经要假惺惺了回到家也要这样一幅嘴脸不做也罢; 你说最起码你知道自己在做着什么;想要的是什么; 有些人活大半生都还是被人牵着鼻子走; 想着想着- 我真幸福; 又吻了你一下;有你这样让我暗地里去爱, 真的好。

Friday, March 27, 2009

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.
















thing is not actually that bad;
it just means that i have to keep on lying to myself;
with the fact that;
no matter how many people i meet;
you will always be the scale i use to measure them;
i know this is really not fair;
but there's really nothing i can about this stubborn part of me;
with this;
i applogize deeply.
















“别来这一套,别向我一直道歉,烦!”; “我又惹恼你什么了?”; “你就不能对我好一点”; “我对你那里不好了?”; “我不知道,你不要说话了,好不好?”; 你知道吗?我懊恼的是自己; 在生自己的闷气; 我所要求你的其中一个品质是不多话; 我只想要有一个人、牵着我的手、坐在一起、没有说话、就这样; 很难吗?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

We should conduct ourselves not as if we ought to live for the body, but as if we could not live without it.

外面吹着很大的风; 站在里面的我根本感觉不到; 只看到豆大的雨点打横冲撞到地面上; 以前的我是一个善良的人; 骨子里就是不能够耍恨; 对他也并没有很讨厌; 但就是说不出: 对不起你不是我的type, 我们不适合之类的话; 最后总是说:可以啊, 我们还可以出来hangout, 喝茶什么的; 真的就是狠不下来! 现在,没有当面的说因为不想对方难下台; 但约会过后就直接短讯一则写明:“我们没有chemistry, 不用再见”; 我不想浪费任何人的时间; 你不适合我再继续委屈自己交往下去也不会见得会有结果;这是我累积到的一些经验作出的一个结论,let's move on; 人说感情可以培养啊,对我-可不;我认定了的;不喜欢的; 你很难说服我改变主意; 对;我就是一个对自己的一套爱情观如此执著和死心眼的人; 我可能已经盲目地被这个残酷的恋爱社会磨出了另外一个样; i want to be lovable though and keeping the love & be loved in me still, i hope that have not changed. what do you say?
hand is shaking now; im missing you again;

we suppose to meet up but you canceled;

guess your other matters are far more important than me, as always;


do you know that i am really not as brave as you think i am?

i am really not.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered















i cant always be there for you;
even if i want to;
the way we're dealing with each others life is not the same anymore;
but you know;
in my heart i always wanted more;
with you;
im sorry for i no longer able to manage your expectation;
if u choose to walk away, i'd understand.















"hey, u're free tonight? let's have dinner"; assuming someone is free and that they'e readily available for you at your own time and pace is not an option at this point of time; at least not in my life; not anymore.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

There must be more to life than having everything.















三年了;
不相信这已是一段那么远久的记忆;
镇定地聆听着你朋友传来你的消息;
没有悲戚戚的感觉;
亦没有惋惜或后悔;
反而感觉到庆幸;
忘记了自己如何曾经爱过你;
依然到现在还是不修边幅的你;
祝福你。
















可能真的没有要那感觉重新再回来; 就算有也想它慢慢的; 你从吧台拿着饮料走回来; “你的vodka lime”; “不要太常打电话和传短讯给我,可以吗?”; “我想听到你的声音”; “不应该是这样的”; 我知道你不想浪费时间我其实也不想; 我的忍耐程度比起以前增强了好几倍; 我已经不是那个守在电话旁干着急的那个人; 为什么他没接我的来电?为什么他没有回我的短讯?脑海里就只有为什么? “等我打给你”; 一口喝完 vodka lime站起来就走开; 你也许永远都不会明白; 我也不需要你去明白。

Monday, March 23, 2009

The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.



人群中 哭著 你只想變成透明的顏色
你再也不會夢 或痛 或心動了
你已經決定了 你已經決定了

你 靜靜 忍著 緊緊把昨天在拳心握著
而回憶越是甜 就是 越傷人了
越是在 手心留下 密密麻麻 深深淺淺 的刀割

你不是真正的快樂 你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

這 世界 笑了 於是妳合群的一起笑了
當生存是規則 不是 你的選擇
於是妳 含著眼淚 飄飄盪盪 跌跌撞撞 的走著

你不是真正的快樂 你的笑只是你穿的保護色
你決定不恨了 也決定不愛了
把你的靈魂關在永遠鎖上的軀殼

你不是真正的快樂 你的傷從不肯完全的癒合
我站在你左側 卻像隔著銀河
難道就真的抱著遺憾一直到老了 然後才後悔著

你值得真正的快樂 你應該脫下你穿的保護色
為什麼失去了 還要被懲罰呢
能不能就讓 悲傷全部 結束在此刻 重新開始活著

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.















the thing is we will never think alike;
i'll lose myself by doing so;
and will you like me any least if i do it;
you might not but i will;
what is a life if i can no longer be me?
what is a life if im trying to please everybody?
what is a life?
















“暂时性的快乐不算是快乐吧?”; 看着缓缓被呼出的烟圈; 消失; maybe my question really is "are you genuinely happy?"; “我宁愿承受工作上的压力甚至是被轰炸至体无完肤神经错乱的疲累, 但是如果你要我独自一个人在未来的日子里再如此往下走一步;我知道我永远不会快乐起来”

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Nothing is worse than active ignorance.















你真没意思;
其实我知道你并不是真的想和我讨论人生的意义;
如果我能为你枯燥无味的生活燃起一丁点儿的火花;
很多东西我都在所不惜;
你要知道我说不在乎的我就真的是不在乎;
就让我直接告诉你这中间没有隐藏别的;
不用你多心多疑地去猜;
我不会去反驳不想和你吵;
这并不代表我软弱;
因为我就只是一个特怕麻烦的人;
其实说穿了;
就真的只是这样而已。

Friday, March 20, 2009

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"
















想东想西突然间就恍惚出了神; 他看着我没有说话看来也不想问我在想什么; "i know, im just a cheap date"; "and why would you say something like that?"; 并不是想要特地和你吵嘴; 可能我是在找话说; 可能我看出来你的不在乎; 承认自己懦弱; 也讨厌自己放不下; 为什么就偏偏要我在乎你了? 为什么你连一个让我觉得不希罕的机会也不给我? "how am i suppose to deal with your sensibility when im being too fucking sensible myself?".

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Absence diminishes commonplace passions and enhances great ones.















when you start feeling sympathetic;
you know the whole thing is going to be over;
so over.















“我从来就没有主张过我们开始”; “那你现在是想说我做错了吗?”; “我没有说是任何人的错,我们就是一直这样好好的”; “我们这样算好好吗?怎么好好了?告诉我”; 她知道他们从来完全没有开始过,他可能想都没有想过; “结束了吗?”; 这四个字一直出现在她脑海里;到最后。

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Worry is a misuse of imagination.
















"stop flattering yourself"; "no, i meant to compliment you"; "me? what about me?"; "why is it so hard for you to believe what i say?"; "you dont sound convincing enough"; "remember that night? i miss it, i miss your cute little face that night at that bar"; she was talking to her friends, cant stop her laugh and giggle, she gave him a quick glance and winked at him before getting another drink; he stood there like a total fool without knowing how to react; before the night ends; he walked over to her, grabbed her hand and pulled her out from the crowd; outside on the quiet street; he told her - "i love you" and then he just walked off; he knew so well what he gotten himself into and this is just the beginning........















你总有办法让我安静下来; 我俩总是礼貌地客气地对待彼此;深怕如果越过了那条无形的线就再也无法回头似的; 但我们现在又算是一种什么样的关系呢?你和我都说不出一个所以然; 是爱吗?是情吗? 认真想想又并不止于此; 可就是狠不下心把你随便带过; 那么就让我们继续任性地逗留在那条无形的线吧,好吗?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.















what if i start to lose all my empathy?
what if i think eveything is bull shit?
what if im not just settling for less?
what if im really just changing direction?
what if all this is not just what if?
what if?















seconds turn minutes;
minutes turn hours;
then what will hour turn into?
round and round turning into inevitability;
and they say seize the day;
and they say live your life;
and they say go all out;
and they say do what you like;
and so they say;
but do they do?
then will they be?

Monday, March 16, 2009

Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.

你看過了許多美景
你看過了許多美女
你迷失在地圖上每一道短暫的光陰

你品嚐了夜的巴黎
你踏過下雪的北京
你熟記書本裡每一句你最愛的真理

卻說不出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在什麼場合我曾讓你動心
說不出離開的原因

你累計了許多飛行
你用心挑選紀念品
你蒐集了地圖上每一次的風和日麗

你擁抱熱情的島嶼
你埋葬記憶的土耳其
你流連電影裡美麗的不真實的場景

卻說不出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在什麼場合我曾讓你分心
說不出旅行的意義

你勉強說出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在什麼場合我曾讓你分心
說不出離開的原因

勉強說出你為我寄出的每一封信
都是你離開的原因
你離開我 就是旅行的意義

Abnormal is so common, it's practically normal.















let's give up, ok? i dont want to give you false impression that something might happen;
to be honest with you, i dont think we stand a chance, right from the beginning; but you insisted, thats why i played along until now;
i already foresee this coming;
both of us;
instead of giving up we drag along;
for the sick fun of it;
so now let's just be clear and get out of this;
for good, permanently.















电话响了5声; “喂,几点啦?”; 听到他懒洋洋被吵醒的声音她笑了; “4点,我睡不着”; “想怎样?”; “陪我聊天到我睡着”............每个人心中都有过这样一段浪漫而又遥远的曾经; 而后的你在想为什么他就不再浪漫了呢? 他也抑或会想她怎么不再善解人意了呢? 那天随意的你在沙发上躺着;我在喝着啤酒; “要吗?”; 你摇着头伸手把我拉到你怀里; “我没用你的点子”; “什么?”; “记得吗?那天我要你帮我想想的广告campaign”; “哦,那个”; “不要紧呐,你用我才怪呢?”; “点子不错但总觉得已被人用过似的”; 说实话真的不打紧然后你迫不及待告诉我你全部的idea我听着; “怎样? 要present哪一个好?”; 可是你知道吗? 我总觉得你是已经作了决定的但你却一味坚持要听取我的意见令我有一刹那间的犹豫和一点儿的不知所措;应该开心吗?还是难过呢? 我往往就是那么复杂。

Sunday, March 15, 2009

You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious.















lately ive been receiving calls from you;
you don’t used to call me up so much;
“what’s up?”, casually I asked, “I know I owe you something”;
“oh not that, I just want to chat, do a spot check on you, that’s all”;
I cant help but think you are missing me;
you just have to know that;
when I told you before thing is going to be different this time;
I can promise you, it will be;
I still love you but not in the way it used to be anymore;
anymore.
















看着黄色的液体慢慢转换成绿色; “真的很喜欢这一盏灯,谢谢你;”; “我也是很喜欢所以才买给你的”; 记得那天我站在店前许久做不了决定; 来回向店员询问关于那蓝黄色的熔岩灯两次; 最后的最后还是买了下来; 希望你不只是讨我开心而是真的喜欢它; “在这盏灯下你更漂亮了”; 我笑笑; “抽烟吗?”; 你皱了皱眉我没理会燃起一根烟; “一口,就一口”; 你轻轻抚着我的手捏了一捏我拿着烟的手指; “把它戒了”; 我吸了一口烟喷向你在想; 当我能够戒掉你的时候就会一并把它戒了; 我伸手摸着你的发; “好长了要理一理了吧,没时间?”; “唔,要了”; 我的手还在你的脸上;继续慢慢跟着你的发线游移触摸着你的皱纹; “我老了”; “我就是喜欢你这样”; “你真的是很小孩子,你知道吗?”; 就在这一瞬间我突然想哭了; 潜意识里我想要你记得我更多; 我会用尽一切办法让你舍不得我的,无论如何。

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.















he likes a woman that is in control and decisive; 7pm sharp; over dinner; chit chatting randomly about some work and stuff; deciding in between burger and beer; both of them considered a few options; trying too hard to please each other; finally reached agreement and arrived at a place with both burger and beer; no argument there; they know clearly what they're trying to do for each other without saying it out; "i like the way u dress tonight, it's very sexy", he whispered to her; as she's looking away he doesnt notice that the brief devilish smirk on her face.















"do you want to make love?"
he stares at her and smile;
she knows what he is thinking;
coz she wouldnt have stepped out of her car if she doesnt;
"does that taste like a yes?"
he kissed her and he nodded;
"you are not getting any younger, remember that";
after which when she is ready and getting up to dress;
laying lazily by her - "stay with me tonight";
"you have a long day and early start tomorrow, c'mon now";
she knows he is just trying to be polite without rushing her away;
she understands nonetheless deliberately leaving something behind;
what a night, what a night.















i pass you the cigarette after i light it up;
conversation in between beers and cigarettes;
it's just a lateral move;
i see but you always the one who seems to be in control;
i know what i want;
i may not know how to get it;
but everything is so clearly map out in my mind and that's that;
is it a bad thing?
no, in fact, i like that about you.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
















it's 11 o'clock in the morning; somewhere in between breakfast and lunch; he walks into their usual cafe because she insisted on seeing him; in such a short notice; he simply thought maybe she wants to have brunch; he sees her from far; she was sitting at the last table having her 2nd cup of espresso; no hug; no kisses; nothing; that's a bit odd then he realize she is onto something; "can i have an americano, please?"; waiter brings him the drink in no less than 4 minutes; "when you say you are busy, you mean you are really busy, or you are just pretending to be busy because you dont want to talk to me?"; that's pretty straight forward, he was taken aback; "no, i was really busy when you called yesterday"; "i would really like to believe that we're slowly developing a steady relationship here"; "what makes it so hard for you to believe?"; "im lacking of confidence and mostly faith, i guess"; "why do you have all these doubt?"; he's frowning and annoy with the fact that why woman is so hard to understand; they could've save all the time and trouble to think about such silly thought and on the other hand try to focus on how to make this relationship works; "can we leave this open? can we agree to be in this and go on with our lives, to see some other people?"; "no, that's not the way it suppose to be"; "then you tell me how is it going to be coz really i would really like to believe that we're slowly developing a steady relationship "; she is getting so sick of repeating herself and slowly she knows that eventually the thought of getting rid of her will slowly surface inside of him, somehow, somewhere, at some point.........just a matter of time.















如果你办不到的话请你真的真的不要说,连想都不要想,为自己也好为我也好,将想法收起来,等你可以做的时候不用说去做然后想办法让我知道就好,我宁愿你这样。

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere, wholeheartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation.
















"Should I recount my own troubles to commiserate, or just listen?"; 在忙着整理一些文件口中却念念有词地重复着这一句话; 电话响了; “我在想你”; 我知道你正在尝试中但我感觉不出来你的努力, 过程里你想学着慢慢地去关心我起来,贪婪的我想要的却是更多; “i am alright - sometimes miss the fact that i cant go back to you at the end of the day”; “我怎么能欺骗自己说距离不是一个问题呢? ”; “你不能所以你要相信我,好吗?”; “我在忙, 这些事能迟些再说吗?”; 我按下停止通话的键; 对你的询问我迟疑了,我从来没有要逃避过什么但是在似乎对你十分关键的这一刻我犹豫了起来, 有很多事真的是没有想象中那么难的,我不明白是什么原因你总是没有办法说服我相信你说的话、许的诺; 可能这不是你或者我的问题; 我在想可能根本没有问题, 那么......."Should I recount my own troubles to commiserate, or just listen?".















"oh hey, thank you so much for your help", i heard you say;
thought of you stops running in my mind;
it just doesnt seem necesary anymore;
no explaination needed;
im never someone that brags about things and ask for attention;
i dont want to get in front of the stage;
i just want to stick with what im doing and stay behind the limelight;
hence your appreciation was fakely accepted;
and;
thought of you stops running in my mind.

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.


喉嚨很乾 所以愛上你的吻 嘴唇需要覺得 曾被誰期待過
身體空虛 所以愛上你擁抱 胸膛需要記得 也被懷念過
何必需要動心 我只要相信我本能需要就是原因 我是人
因為野性 所以愛上你指尖 鬍渣需要覺得 曾被誰馴服過
因為寂寞 所以愛上你肌膚 體溫需要記得 也被承受過
留不住你的心 我只要留住你的人 留不住你的人 也留住一吻
擒住你的肉身 不需要俘擄你靈魂 像個低等動物 那麼天真
兩個人互相的欣賞 愛情不過是這樣 給欲望找個對象 本質上都是一樣
不要想得那麼抽象 愛情不過是這樣 做起來我們還不是 一樣
談情不錯 不過還很有事要做 身體需要覺得 沒被冷落過
說得太多 沒有動作 為什麼我等你你等我 就不算罪過

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I can't live without you. The thought of leaving you kills me. Do you love me?

Michael: I'm not frightened. I'm not frightened of anything. The more I suffer, the more I love. Danger will only increase my love, will sharpen it, will give it spice. I will be the only angel you need. You will leave life even more beautiful than you entered it. Heaven will take you back and look at you and say: "Only one thing can make a soul complete and that thing is love."

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.















"you know you will lose, right?"; "what are we talking about here?"; "you know in the long run you are going to get hurt"; "and you are not?"; "im just telling you"; "so?"; "you can walk away now"; "what makes you think i want to do that?"; "just thought you should know"; "hey, im a grown man, i know what im doing"; do you really?















没有什么好说的;
再晚也不是借口;
原谅你了吗?
忐忑不安的是你;
在妒嫉着的是你;
想占有我的是你;
但无论我在暗示明示多少次;
you dont seem to get the point;
and im asking myself with doubt;
should this still be going on?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.




















i say hi;

i alwaz do;

i think i will stop eventually at one point;

i dont know why i just know i would.













看着你入了神; “在想什么?”; “噢,没,没什么!”; “在写着一个广告,要听听吗?”; “嗯”; 回过神来听你在说着一个以小动物做概念的广告发觉原来也不怎么特别; “怎么样?”; “还好”; 原来在认识你这么久以后才慢慢地不知觉地发觉你也只不过是常人一个没什么两样; “只是还好”; 比起刚认识的你在我心里头的地位可是我高不可攀的; “这样吧,你也帮忙我想想怎样写,如果录用了你的点子我付你钱, 要吗?”; 突然间和你竟然有了交易; “r u serious?”; 你不像在开玩笑; “好,写就写”; 其实和你常常都有想法上的交流写起来应该还蛮得心应手的; “说好了”; 用了一晚的时间写下一些不是很特别的电邮给你交了差; 不一会儿就收到了你的回复; 都是一些很positive的回应; 我知道就算我的点子很烂很烂你也不会对我直接说; 你不会说伤害我的话; 其实你用不用我的点子随你; 我只是想认真的去证实一下在准备走进你尚未敞开的心里世界的这一刻我所需要的坚持是否在你不经意的这一刹那间已犹如一滴墨水般正慢慢地在蔓延开来..........

Monday, March 9, 2009

...happiness gives us the energy which is the basis of health.















“I read your work”; found familiarity in between words; “did u like it?”; “how come I already sense that coming?”; didn’t cross my mind that I need to point it out; “so tell me”; “what?”; “you know darn well what I wanted to know”; “I miss the point I guess and I don’t get the message you’re trying to send across”; “you didn’t, I wasn’t trying to make a point and there’s no message in my story”; “so then?”; “I just want to write something about a certain someone I know, in my life, trying to make sense out of things, in my life”; “oh, that suddenly sounds deep”; “it does, doesnt it? now with all that in perspective, how do you find my work?”; I go on smoking my cigarette and smile, pondering on the irony of life and lie.















You asked me twice: “What are you thinking?”, I said:”nothing” and you must have guessed that was a lie. I was thinking distance is a problem? I was thinking how is this going to work? I was thinking is there even “us”? I was thinking how unfair that is to have you loving me more than I do? I was thinking do I even love you? Yes, I was thinking. The thing is, I know myself and my guess is you think you know me more than I know myself, u might be wrong. I don’t even know myself well. For whatever it is, I’ve tried. I did. You might not see it; you might see that I didn’t put in much effort at all. All I can say is that I really tried. And for the part that you said if I miss u, I should tell u……of course I can tell you a thousand, a million or even a billion times that I miss you, that I love you, that I want to be with you…..but those are just words, what is the point in telling you that when I don’t mean it, at all. I won’t. I want to say those words and mean it. I’m not holding myself back, I know I’m not, it’s just that I don’t feel it enough to say it. I could’ve let it go on - hold your hand, kiss you, walk with you, be by your side, do every single thing with you, be a polite good manner say “I love you” a lot kind of girlfriend, I could’ve been that for you, but you don’t want that, I’m sure. You don’t want someone pretend to be with you. There’s something missing and I feel it, I know it, it’s a connection I’m looking for. I don’t feel it with you. I don’t feel the attraction.

When you are with someone, you’d know and I just don’t feel it with you.















there’s no issue;
there’s never an issue;
define issue;
what issue is an issue;
an issue for you might not be an issue for me;
vice versa;
so what r we talking about here?
u told me several times;
im the one u really want;
i don’t know what u should do to make me believe that;
i run out of ideas.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.















ull be 31 this year, right?
and...ur point is?
31, thats a nice age;
yea, a very "old" nice age;
and why do u have to remind me about it?
no, i mean it, being 31 is nice;
gee thanks but still old;
i like you no matter what age you are;
you should know that by now;
gosh, im going to be 31 and i done nothing;
not true, u will be 31 and u have me.















坐在靠窗的位置;吸烟区; 整个咖啡馆我一个人; 抽着一根烟; 落地玻璃窗外倾盆大雨; “来很久了?”; “嗯”; 我从来都不迟到你是知道的; “下雨路上很塞车”; 所以我提早出门; “擦一擦吧,外套都湿了”; 拨弄着你湿了的头发; “昨晚才刚到吧?累吗?”; “不累”; 侍应生上着我们点了的啤酒和食物; 开始聊着; 谈起你的低音吉他; 你如何在改装它; 看着你被割伤的手指我心疼地拿起来吻着; “还痛吗?”; “没有,不疼了”; 然后你在告诉我更多你这一次出国的事;还有你即将要把你的头盔来个360度的全新设计;一切一切的全都是你最近所做的; 我看着你眼里闪烁着一股劲儿像个孩子一样; “你呢?还好吗?”; “我?好啊”; 通常我都将我的故事近况简短的说着; 筹备着换新工作、搬家等;你说到现在还不知道其实我的工作是什么;我不怪你;因为我根本没有对你说过我自己; 我都只是喜欢听你说; “真的不累吗?” 我不厌其烦地又问着; “想见你,不累, 真的不累”;而我想说的是: 你能原谅我的任性吗?可你知道我也只能在你面前撒娇让你看见我的脆弱啊? 你能明白吗? 你的所有话语、举止、所有你从来没有注意到过的这一切; 其实已经默默的让我发现自己更爱你了。

Saturday, March 7, 2009

When you want to believe in something, you also have to believe in everything that's necessary for believing in it.















究竟已经经过了多长的时间;
竟然让我磨出了这一股能耐;
im not a forgiving person;
从来没有想象过自己是这样的一个人;
我记住别人对我的好;
更不能忘记别人对我的坏;
但对你总是有一种连自己也不能说服自己的宽容;
我原谅不了自己对你的纵容;
原来在不知不觉中;
我唯一放不下的是你。















i dont know what to call us and what to call this....when u finally figure out if this is something u really really want and what it is, pls let me know.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.















如今我却只能站在这里;
你就理所当然似地以为我会反驳;
你觉得有问题的时候从来不告诉我;
你这一种自以为是的沟通方式;
我没有觉得我有错;
你默不作声;
这一次我不要再是那个先发出声音的人。















已经被现实麻痹到没有想过要逃了。

Thursday, March 5, 2009

It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves - in finding themselves.
















对着你不期然就产生了盼望; “可以写信给我啊”; “想对你说的我会说,不用写的”; 为什么就不能写一些有的没的; 有这么难吗? 因为我知道其实说真的你也不会对我说些什么。

Getting there isn't half the fun - it's all the fun.















sick of being the first to make the move;
sick of saying sorry;
sick of thinking im the one who did something wrong;
sick of making a fool out of myself;
sick of many many silly things;
but i dunno why am i still not sick of you.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Maybe kissing is sort of like nature's coffee.















i secretly turn around and take a peek after i said goodbye;
you didnt notice;
there's one thing i couldnt figure out;
maybe it's the same thing thats been bugging you;
both of us dont have the guts to lay it all out;
will we do it if we dare each other to?
i doubt you will;
maybe i would;
u told me u missed everything just the same;
so did i and so did i;
is this a torture;
or is this just the way we rather be?















"is there no other way?"; "what other way?"; i can actually feel her annoyance; "hey listen, this isnt easy for me either, ok?"; "then why are we doing what we're doing? you know it doesnt help and we're not making any progress"; "then what do you want me to do?"; "i dont know, i thought you want this real bad, if not more, prove it to me"; you actually dont show me enough that you care, thats all; my determination is shaking; i come to realise that you are such a workaholic and you are not as persistent as i thought you would be; you havent even won me yet; you already begin to lose; you got a really slim chance to bounce back, really really slim chance.