Friday, August 28, 2015

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.

i remember her name is Wan Yee;
and that she is special;
i fell into the trap that i automatically treat her so politely and well;
just because she is special
deep down i  know that is the last thing she would want me to do;
to treat her special;
because like everybody else;
she just want to be treated;
like how i treat everyone else.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.

I just want to be able to tell you things without sugarcoat it, I must be able to let you know how I feel. If I don't feel alright I will say so, I won't pretend everything is alright and just sit there. I tried that but that is just not how I want to be.
At times, when we get to meet each other, being with each other physically, talking becomes less of a thing, even though we don't talk much, we get to enjoy each other's company, watch a movie, read a book, have a meal, we are being with each other closely and we can reach out. 
When we far away and we don't talk about this, tell each other how we feel, I feel such a gap that quickly widen and I feel us both slowly drifting apart everytime, you may think I exegarate and don't feel that way, but I do. I want to let you know that's how I feel. 
You told me this is a phase, what are we doing to this phase? We want to try thing one more time, begin again, pick up something that we thought we leave behind years ago. If we can't both tell each other this time is going to be different, then what is this all about? Or maybe we should have just leave things be?
Is there all there is to it? This so called relationship? This so called being boyfriend and girlfriend?
I'm a confused child. I think too much, talk too little when I should. Probably as much as you are if not less, I have been in and out so many bad relationships I lost hope, and just start to be really casual about things. Then somehow someway you found your way back right here, right now, I don't know what that actually means. If that means we are going to give this a try, again, I want to know how to do it so that in the end at least we can say, look, we really have tried everything and it didn't work. 
You know what I mean?

Monday, August 17, 2015

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

Then later on i found out that was so many times i have hurt people without me even realize it. I am sorry. I truly am.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Thoughtfulness for others, generosity, modesty and self-respect are the qualities which make a real gentleman or lady.

3 days 2 night; it flew by; really quickly; was it true when they say time flies when you spend it happily with someone; was it in your case? we did not even do much, talk much; you say that is not necessary; i am not resisting this; i feel a sense of peacefulness somehow; after all the storms i have faced previously; maybe i long for this; looking forward to a kind of tranquility in my next relationship, in my now relationship; i set a long list of criteria for so long that i have no longer criteria and that will be the best criteria and also the hardest; we go around the circle; in the end it is still you; YOU.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.

Hey sorry i didn't write. I just wanna tell you i was and still am upset (just a little) that you don't write enough. I don't wanna tell you what to do. I thought about it the whole night and i dont want to just complain, whine and bitch about it. So i thought if we want to make it work, this time it has to be different. So me too wanna know what can i do to make this better, instead of feeling frustrated all d time. I kind of don't blame the time zone, coz that can't be an excuse. I truly believe if someone means something to you, you will find d time. We can't keep on saying well, that's your feeling, i can't change it if u r that stubborn, i did all i could, bla bla bla, which i dont think we have. I feel happy when u genuinely make time for me, like that day when u were in KL, u were busy with work but u still want to see me and i remember that very much. U know? That sort of thing.... Anyway..... Okok... That's all. So ya that's what i wanna say. Very long note. I dun hv ur email to blast this, so i write it here.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth.

Im sorry for being so pessimistic, I'm just not very very positive about us, im thinking when you can't even spare a minute or two for me. Then what else is there? 

Monday, August 3, 2015

Never be haughty to the humble; never be humble to the haughty

but if you can tell me if i am being too needy; too unreasonable; too stubborn even;
then i will stop;
tell me again that why are we doing what we are doing;
just because we have feelings so we want to give it another shot;
just because we miss it the first time so we want to try again;
that hardly qualified for anything if we dont put the effort to really try again;
it does not make sense if we are trying hard enough even when this second chance comes by;
what is this all for?

people find time to people; nobody can be too busy.

that has been my personal motto all along.

i dont think you get it; i dont think you will ever get it, ever.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.

I'm very upset and disappointed;
As it is you already don't write much;
I'm just expecting you to write everyday, even a little, do u mean I need to lower my expectation further;
we both adult, let's not play games;
What is there left for me to long and desire? will there ever be?

U lied. 

I don't know what to say. 

Saturday, August 1, 2015

This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Everything will sounds like an excuse now.
I don't want to say it's ok, coz it's not, i dont want to be so clingy and needy.
I don't know if u understand.