If everything is imperfect in this world, love is perfect in its imperfection.

Two getaways within a short time. Can’t believe I feel so comfortable with someone to the extend that we have already committed to talk about the next step. Did so many things together. Having a lot of laughs. Dream about exam and Thailand. Makes you laugh out loud, long and hard. I wish I can keep doing that to you. For the rest of your life. Meeting family. Staying together. That is what we want to do. Took 30min to finish 36 questions that require about four hours. Your way of handling emotions are just so different. Survive the long drive. Look forward to the next. You said you can take care of me. Keep me safe. Late night drink. Supper. Underwear. Cup noodle. Surprise Christmas gift. All I want to do for you. So so much. I wish I can keep the list going. You hope you will still have new story to tell me when you see sixty. I want to keep you for a long time. I know that much. Langkawi. Beaches. Rain and sun. Breakfast every morning. Bikini that caught your eyes. Checking on me every step of the way. You always say thank you for small stuff which makes me show you my appreciation in return. i am so happy that we are building all these memories, together. 

I’ve always been interested in people, but I’ve never liked them.

line of the date: "the reason why i am happy is because you are in  my life."

is this feeling real now?
will it ever fade?



i wish we both in this world, in this dream, for a long time. 

Very little is needed to make a happy life: it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.

3d/2n; weekend get away; already thinking about the next trip; we made it and marked this as mission accomplished; i have forgotten if i have once fall in love romantically; we talked a lot about life; love; affair; sharing thoughts; exchanging ideas; feeling free and liberated; still somewhat skeptical; all and all a good trip; found out a lot of things about each other; where our energy comes from; rain and sun; you allow me to be free while keeping me safe in wherever you go; this is how you show that you care; more on the practical side; less on the emotional side; you read me a series of your thoughts; all these while being honest in your thinking; we can be ourselves very much when we are around each other; makes us wonder where have we been all these while; slight funny moment about meeting your relative and forgot about driving me to work; small hiccups made me realise even more so life is just small and wonderful if you are spending with the right person; you made me breakfast and i deeply appreciate the fact that the more you are treating me well; the more i want to treat you well too; in return; this is not because i feel like i owe you or i have to; this is simply because i have fallen deeply head over heel with you; i know for sure at least that is real and it is soemthing what i have not felt for a long long time; thank you.

It was probably nothing but it felt like the world.

you came to my work; drove me home; slept over; we did not go to the party or dance; we rather stay home; glad we did; shared two smooth beers; you were not feeling well; we just chit chatting away over dinner; you told me a lot of things about your previous job; the one that you like very much and trying to forget; we talk about barbeque session again; roll eyes on small little things; debate about home and house; each time we thought we disagreeing; in away we are finding a common ground to stick together; i feel you much more differently with all that i have known so far; all the feelings i have for you are just so so right.

Line of the date: I really do not want to separate from you. All the time. 

The one thing I don’t want to be is a burden to anyone.

we were just hanging out; doing small thing; we went to get your glasses fixed; i was having a rough day; i called in sick the next; spend time with you; drop you off at work before you began your two weeks long holiday; i am glad we have each our own life and activity to do; had a blast at my home; charade; taboo; Christmas tree; hosting someone; all went fantastically well; we meet to view your friend's house; decision changes along the way; happy we chat; a walk in the park; felt such great relief; help to talk to someone who cares; more concern and always worry about your physical well being; you have a lot of things to do during your day off; accompany you else where; going to kick off our holiday soon; the very first; i hope everything will go well; as it should; it does not even bother me that we talk about future; child; your parents comment on me; guess they do care because they asked question; no one wants their child to be hurt, again; being cautious; unimportant stuff; we do things that made each other laugh; liking my serious look coz i look hot; silly but fun comment; bond we build slowly; miss you terribly when we are apart; i gradually accept the fact that you will only be there and hold my hand when i am really sad or just give me a "tight hug" message, because you are just not a guy that shows your emotion on your face; that is how you will be and choose to deal with emotion; not in a dramatic manner; i just have to be ok and live with that; which i can; i am and i want.

line of the date: "are you expecting?"

The darkest minds tend to hide behind the most unlikely faces.

"I’m blown away by how happy you make me. Thank you for being there for me when I’m stupid enough to think I’d rather be alone. -- Adam Silvera"

all you need to say is "i miss you terribly" and that is all; it is funny how sometimes the emotional disconnection comes back; in a small way; then i make it matter again; i do not want to suppress my feeling anymore; so i can feel again because i do not want to feel detach from you; at all.

i am happy that we have shared about us to our loved one; we live our own lives; at least i do; their advice counts very little; i still respect them; in a way.

Control yourself…Become someone who can deal with this.

i am still surprise how naturally both of us can be when we are together; it just feels right; i saw you and sleep over on Thursday; Saturday you are driving me home; perhaps i expect too much; perhaps we never did talk about our plans; i thought i could sleep over more; but it did not work out that way; you said what am i thinking; being my usual self i reply i am not thinking about anything; afraid you might see thru me; appreciation and recognition; that two things kept bothering me; got me all emotional; it feels naturally we got physical; we spoke of closure; justice; forgiveness; revenge; in the end; whatever that you need i hope you have received it and bring peace to you; it was a nice weekend; you have met them; quietly and awkwardly; you have been half acknowledged; it does not matter; as long as we acknowledge each other; we even talk about our plan; getting married; as if that is a soft goal; i found that funny; we itemize it as a box to be checked; i refuse to think that is a good idea; we have different definition about things; i have accepted it as you are; we had a nice dinner; in the end i am not even upset which i normally would; you have a way to melt away my hard feelings leaving me soft and fluffy; you always complement my sparkling eyes and you told me that i am precious to you; that you always thank me on things; i guess i got it from you; that is all that matters and that is all i want. You. 

Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.

"the bed is empty without you. good night."

But part of surviving is being able to move on.

You had a wonderful time organised a dance session. I joined in to watch. As an audience. Got to know new people. Still think this is not for me. Deep down I know although I am still open to give it a try. I do not want to rush this. you said thank you a lot. you kept asking people to drink. i just want to see you dance. i just want to make you happy. i am not drinking so i can drive you there. We spent the whole long weekend together. This was the first time I sleep over two nights in a row. we did not have any argument this long weekend. You said things that surprised me. You miss me. When we sat on the sofa. You said miss is the wrong word. The feeling is so strong. I have to admit. i feel it too. i also feel the disconnection whenever we are apart. i just hope that i can tel you more. I often urge you to say something new to me. You only change a word or two. You are not the expressive type. I understand. You had a hang over. Still you accompany me to the viewing. Then we went to the mall together like how couple normally do. i feel safe. Homely. And normal with you. i have no reason to rush. i feel really comfortable. we are not hesitate and not even feel reluctantly when we talk about the future. you want to go far away again. with me. we should plan. after our short trip where both of us feel there should not be any hiccup. I feel this can go on for a long time. For some odd reasons.