Friday, January 19, 2018

Time didn’t heal, but it anesthetized. The human mind could only feel so much.

im afraid that; there will come a time; i may not be able to capture it fast enough; for the memories of your relationship; unexpectedly; we met; to sort out important document with me; to clear my head with all the numbers and confusion; you are good at that; you kept on saying that i am perfect for you; i have met your set criteria and so much more; we gave each other the freedom to be ourselves; you had a shower; tshirt; boxer of mine; feel intimately close to you; you are so happy i am in your life; you told me so many times; sometimes i wonder if this is real; that it sounds too good to be true; want to just be with you; we had dinner; heavy rain; want to be convenient for each other; afraid that we will be troublesome and burden; end up miscomm with each other; somehow not very mad; expect you to step out from the buss but did not; had a good laugh about that; amazingly cafe for each other so much; created a drama group just to roll eyes and sigh at each other dramatically; you calm me down; we want to make each other a better person; that is already the perfect commitment; without having to say i love you; you even say do one thing at a time because it does not give more value if we do everything in one go; going to meet your parents later; i do not mind; it is a big deal to meet; but also i am ok to postpone it; whatever happened will happens i guess; gave you a surprise on Tuesday; see you dance because my dinner was cancelled; wont be annoyed even if you turn me away; bad surprise turned out worse for me before; been disappointed far too many times and do not mind to be disappointed again; not from you; you were happy i was there; dancing away a few; you tell me to say no; you bend down on your knee in front of me; as an act; i was taken a back; when i hold you close dancing; i can smile you; feel your sweat; tenderly move with your body; the moment just feels so right; maybe it's time to let go; maybe its time to let you control; maybe it's time to let you lead; still not my favourite activity; truly just want to be with you in the moment; you suggested to go to another dance place because i was around; i brought my bag so i slept over; spontaneously; house warming last week; brought you to see my friends; prep for the day; bought food; bought plant; went for breakfast; for lunch; running around; did gardening; because it was such a cool weather week; that you liking it; we notice our different preference; often want to be accommodating to each other; sometimes i do not know its you more than to me; to me more than to you; it blurs the line; it does not matter anymore; just want to do things for each other; i mix drink. big headache and hangover; ended up sleeping the whole day; often think about the same thing and action; sometimes you say it first; sometimes i do; often we have the same mind; more importantly shared values; did not expect to extend my stay; send me home to pick up some clothes; ended up having lunch and watch a movie; feeling cozy just to be with you; i notice that sometimes you did not finish what you started and you are a guy with passion dies down fast after a quick start; i have yet to figure you out; in a good way; you want to be with me all the time; you send me a nice photos of that which reminded you of us; prepare a room for me that is comfortable enough to make me feel like home; i want to be with you; only with you for the rest of my life; i have never be so sure about this kind of thing; even more so that is something you do not need to ask twice. 

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Fools talk, cowards are silent, wise men listen.

Friday; you slept over after i have done with my first dance class trial; still feel it is not me; had fun nevertheless; it is not something urgent or really want to do; care about how to spend time with you longer; so did you; always feel that our time spent together is short; especially this weekend we did not get to sleep over on Sunday; you had activity which i am glad; that means we still living our own life; met my family; had a good time; you said that both of us living our lives without interfering with each other; which we will continue to do so; already talk about future; practical thought about having kids is not the answer; we have to really be sure about this; maybe it is really time to consider this time to be it and do it already; taking a big bold step; together.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Love should require both partners to be their very best at all times.

that is all i need; that you tell me you miss me so much; that you tell me you do not want to go anywhere without me; that you will be patience with me.

that is all that i really really need with you. 

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.

i haven't had this feeling for so long; in fact to be frank; i don't think i ever had this feeling with anyone before; to be so in love; to feel so much; to think that i want to spend the rest of my life with you and that when you were driving me around; doing little things spending the weekend together: coffee, movie, newspaper, grocery shopping; bbq new years eve celebration; how we want to do this every year; holiday; traveling; planning forward without even feeling any hesitation or reluctance; i know in me so much that i want to do this with you; it is hard for me to describe; i just know this and only know this - i want to grow old with you; i am very very ready. 

Sunday, December 31, 2017

If everything is imperfect in this world, love is perfect in its imperfection.

Two getaways within a short time. Can’t believe I feel so comfortable with someone to the extend that we have already committed to talk about the next step. Did so many things together. Having a lot of laughs. Dream about exam and Thailand. Makes you laugh out loud, long and hard. I wish I can keep doing that to you. For the rest of your life. Meeting family. Staying together. That is what we want to do. Took 30min to finish 36 questions that require about four hours. Your way of handling emotions are just so different. Survive the long drive. Look forward to the next. You said you can take care of me. Keep me safe. Late night drink. Supper. Underwear. Cup noodle. Surprise Christmas gift. All I want to do for you. So so much. I wish I can keep the list going. You hope you will still have new story to tell me when you see sixty. I want to keep you for a long time. I know that much. Langkawi. Beaches. Rain and sun. Breakfast every morning. Bikini that caught your eyes. Checking on me every step of the way. You always say thank you for small stuff which makes me show you my appreciation in return. i am so happy that we are building all these memories, together. 

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

I’ve always been interested in people, but I’ve never liked them.

line of the date: "the reason why i am happy is because you are in  my life."

is this feeling real now?
will it ever fade?

i wish we both in this world, in this dream, for a long time. 

Friday, December 22, 2017

Very little is needed to make a happy life: it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.

3d/2n; weekend get away; already thinking about the next trip; we made it and marked this as mission accomplished; i have forgotten if i have once fall in love romantically; we talked a lot about life; love; affair; sharing thoughts; exchanging ideas; feeling free and liberated; still somewhat skeptical; all and all a good trip; found out a lot of things about each other; where our energy comes from; rain and sun; you allow me to be free while keeping me safe in wherever you go; this is how you show that you care; more on the practical side; less on the emotional side; you read me a series of your thoughts; all these while being honest in your thinking; we can be ourselves very much when we are around each other; makes us wonder where have we been all these while; slight funny moment about meeting your relative and forgot about driving me to work; small hiccups made me realise even more so life is just small and wonderful if you are spending with the right person; you made me breakfast and i deeply appreciate the fact that the more you are treating me well; the more i want to treat you well too; in return; this is not because i feel like i owe you or i have to; this is simply because i have fallen deeply head over heel with you; i know for sure at least that is real and it is soemthing what i have not felt for a long long time; thank you.