Saturday, May 31, 2014
Friday, May 30, 2014
im so sorry i was grumpy last night; you were so chirpy and it started all well; then i screw it up i dont even know why i did what i did; 但是你为什么要道歉； 你又没有做错什么；你只是那样就是那样说这说那你认为你觉得应该说的因为你觉得世界不应该是这样；它应该是更好的；食物应该好；有一定的水准；你的骑车队深夜到云顶亦有可能是他们真的喜欢呢；也有可能你对；如果他们有得比较就不会去这样差的地方；但那也不就是个人喜好吗？全球有上亿的人口呢！那你为什么最后会放了那颗较红的石头呢？为什么不放你喜欢那颗呢？然后在早上又泡了太多牛奶的咖啡；你需要量呀；我泡的比较好喝而且你的手法很像我父亲；喝着然后谈起宗教道德；我一时迷糊了；原来是你不是我；如果有一天我不再明白你所对我说的话我想那好可怕；不过我认识你很久了你真的是无需要道歉的；然后你突然间说你一直是个好奇的人你想要知道我上班时做的是什么；你要知道全部；好我就会告诉你了；等我。
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
两通没接的来电，我以为你要约我吃晚饭，这星期我们见了两次面了。原来是我多心，你只是想聊聊天，checking on you, 你时常说的。然后就约了明天见，出外走走散散心。和老朋友在一起真好什么都能说，不用特別去装。
You are so sexy, do you know that? I can be so happy for a long time with that comment and i am actually a very selfish person; i want to make sure you too want it then ill get it for you, do you understand?
Saturday, May 24, 2014
U had the idea of using my car during my away time, I'm ok with it, we did dinner and just a small little gesture, you touched my face so very gently, yes just that small little gesture, that's all.
and after a weekend getaway with you, drive around rather; your wound is healing; you want to use my car a bit more; you still polite as you are which you would be with anyone else even your mother, you said; i like the way we hang out; it's easier; you know what i think and i know yours; we dont actually need to pretend although sometimes we are still too nice to each other.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
I am trying to do this as gently as possible; we screw up big time on things; I mean I screw up big time on things; it’s just dinner it’s not the end of the fucking world, you said; sometimes I rather you shout at me tell me that I am useless and that I cannot do anything; instead you were being so nice to me; you hold me and tell me everything is ok; no big deal; I become really hard on myself; want to get everything right; keeping everything inside; you were waiting for me to come back; you so glad to see me and that you are lonely; bored; now that I am back; we glad to see each other every time; what if way back when you know I am good for nothing; that I am a fuck up; that I show you how useless I am instead now; we had our worst dinner ever that we never had; I wonder why and you just say we are never daring enough; you assume I am good at something that I actually don’t; slowly we finding this out; work harder on it; those gentle moments all I heard is that you ask me to work harder; taking it the wrong way; I have the tendency to take everything negatively; so I am just your entertainment; even that; I like you very much; why you have to keep on saying that; you are not my entertainment; I like being with you; it’s just sad and depressing to know that all this at the end of the day leads to nothing; nothing at all, you know?
Friday, May 16, 2014
Thursday, May 15, 2014
If you are still suicidal, please know that I am here waiting and the least you could do is to drop me a note to tell me that you can't go on living, that you can't imagine living your life without her. I'd understand and let you be. I will be missing you so so dearly. I would but i will not stand in your way. I promise. Then again, I couldn't anyway, right?
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
The most that we can do is to hope for the best till we know the worst. Of course, we shall make the best of the worse when it comes.
Monday, May 12, 2014
I admire your flaw; to me you are real; your sadness; your depression; your vulnerability; you lay bare and naked in front of me; I thought about it and I am ready to accept you as who you are; because to me ultimately the question would be after all that do we still want to be together; this is not about what can we do for each other; it is a matter of whether we want to do it for each other; I thought about it.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
I don’t understand why do you still have to hide; why do you need to say you just meeting up a friend; I know you think all this doesn’t matter but it kind of does; why does it matter if I know? what are you afraid of? You and her never working out; at least I don’t see that you trying hard to work it out; I don’t even know what is the story; I don’t know why you want to see me; just killing time; just as companion; some day you have to ask yourself: what do you really want in your life? what is it?
Saturday, May 10, 2014
You were frustrated about something you did wrong, that you need help, I reply at once without any hesitation, time we spent, things we say, topic we talked about, yet I am still scare, keeping my secret, deep deep down, you know better than anyone else, both you and i still holding back after all these years.
Friday, May 9, 2014
i begin to see your vulnerability; begin to think that there is possibility; that you lay bare and naked in front of me with all your weaknesses; sadness; depression; you become something real more than ever to me; intriguing enough for me to want to find out more; to explore you and me.
i guess the questions we should ask each other is whether we want to be together and make it last; it's not about what we can do to each other; the fundamental ingredient of two people in being together is whether they want to; the rest really doesn't matter so much; if you really think about it.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
What is the meaning of all this? I know you are still talking to her. It's a 15-20 year relationship, it's not nothing. Then what are we pretending? that we fuck each other out of liking? you tell me that you like it and I have no where to hide, don't know what to say to that. We meet up, went out, had dinner, you got a hair cut, stroll around mall, check about tattoo, a fierce tiger, ladybird, what does that means? Suddenly! why? There must be a reason, this is permanent, you fail to reply, had burger, you ask me opinion on Malaysia, on a campaign, why? What is it for? Then this morning, coffee, toast, OCD, anal, perfectionist, a whole lots of crap, you wanna use my car go ahead, all this useless talk and gesture, then what? Why we all still end up here? Why you guys still talking to each other? Get on with life, move the fuck on and leave me alone by myself already, sick and tired of all this shit.
Saturday, May 3, 2014
i think about you as always; wondering if you are well; that if you are having a coffee and a toast; that if you are working and finish your writing while struggling yet still delivered because i know you would; that you are and have to cope with your life; that if you again feel sad and crying; that if you are calm and collected then do whatever you have to; i do not know you well; i only see a strong and beautiful side in you behind those sad green eyes; it makes me want to hold you tight not saying a word but just to let you know that i am here and i will be here even if there's no one else tomorrow, that I know you won't believe me but in the end everything is going to be alright.
i love you silently.
Friday, May 2, 2014
somehow we both kind of know we will be good together, i dont know why, but there's a part of us that not really sure about, then i realise i want you to be happy but i dont know whether you can, and you want me to be a bitch but you dont know whether i can.
if we dont try to change each other, do you think it will work? i let u be sad, depress and mellow and u let me be indecisive, pleasing and direction-less.
something to ponder on.....