the weekend is here; as usual; we halt our usual chat just flirting here and there; you mentioned you still miss me; comes Monday; you called and you were sharing your thoughts; a guy you met over the weekend on how he long for a more structured and systematic life rather than a free one; each to their own; it's what i said; then you went on and were telling me about the books; the few points that you were meant to read and meant to fix when i think you will eventually come to; i was in silent; you know what is happening but do not know how to fix it; not instantly at least; you asked me how i was; i did not want to say; i didn't want to tell you at all and you sense that something is not right; i have finally blurted it out; i know i am not the cause; you and her had problem long before i exist; but now i cant help but think i am in the way; maybe without me; you guys can fix problem faster without having to think about me at all; if that is the case; i have to be fine with it; i have to act strong; what am i supposed to do when you are not here with me? how could i just let you know that i am weak and sad and that life must go on without you anyway while she can have you in your arms, always; but why did you still tell me i am the nest thing that ever happened to you; you even still invite me go to there; what about her? what about her? why?
in all honesty; i still love you too. i do.