It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

you touched down at midnight; i left you voice notes and you said you miss my voice; i wonder what change in this two weeks when you are with her and what didnt; why it didnt; is it right it happens; i thought i would just get a note where you would tell me that everything is over and you will go back to where you are supposed to be and so would i; but it didnt happen; we still joke with each other in a shy awkward way; talking about books; how you dont like the one i asked you to buy and how you have been buying books that both of us like; simple and very safe book; i try to get to you more by knowing what else you like; maybe different genre of stuff; we talk about sex book; we are the action type; words of sex do not interest us so much; we want to do not read about sex; also i am minding the line that we do not want to cross; dont ask anything that you do not want to know is how i am trying to do and thread everything really carefully and cautiously; even question that i blurt out that i did not want to repeat afraid that i might spoil anything because this is something between you and her; that i feel you should know better and why are you not; and that i dont entitle any right to barge in like a crazy person with the relationship that you already have; and then you want us to see us again; this whole idea of meeting excites me instantly and immediately i am checking dates; looking forward to it; feeling the love again; it is amazing, sad and strange; you told me you love me very much; i didnt reply; i do not want to create too deep of the attachment with you; i resist it; i am trying very hard not to..............

I wish I can tell you that i dont miss you today, but that would be a lie...