Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I would rather be right and die than be wrong and kill

last day of the year and im still fucking confuse!

原来我内心的忐忑不安不是来自于对你的放不开;而是我那对你放不开之后停顿着而不能大步大步迈向前的窘境;我很自私;我知道这样对别人很不公平;我只能坦白从宽;我不知道会拖到什么时候;i do not want to give you false hope; i rather you slap me in the face and then i will actually feel better.

Monday, December 30, 2013

He is a man of sense who does not grieve for what he has not, but rejoices in what he has.

27122013, 12:03noon. Let her go. The passenger. you heard this song; thought of me; maybe it's time to lemme go.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Know how to ask. There is nothing more difficult for some people, nor for others, easier.

our kind of people will look for our kind of people; it is difficult with the opposite; you speaking a language that i am the only one who understand.

Friday, December 27, 2013

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong.

真的是如此;我们只能约彼此出来在不同的地方吃饭、聊天、喝咖啡、做伴;我们都在互相敷衍着彼此很多很表面的;现在到以后每当我听到任何一首我曾经给过你的歌我都会不由自主地想起你;我怎么能够骗我自己说我不在乎呢?写着写着电话又响起了;是你;你听到了那首歌然后想起了我;就这样;不断地重复着; 这样的我们会很虚假吗?我们会到最后互相讨厌对方吗?请你就算讨厌我也要欺骗我因为我不能想象自己去讨厌你,真的。

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing activity.

i do realise before you even tell me or say anything; that you have something more; that there is something you are not telling; that we suddenly talk about body fat we need to lose and you asked me to show you my muscle; what is that gotto do with anything; we've been hiding too much; way beyond the point that we dont even know how to tell each other; for reason we need not investigate.

i just miss you, really really miss you.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

To live at this time is an inestimable privilege, and a sacred obligation devolves upon you to make right use of your opportunities.

if i follow you too closely; if i get too clingy; if i ever get too much; would you just let me know; or would you just turn away without a word; i might and will never know; nonetheless; i wish you well, have a very merry christmas and happy happy new year together with your love; can you forgive me for being so childish; because i can only love you more and more. 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself - and thus make yourself indispensable.

bit and pieces from what i remember; 我们没有见面整整十多天你就几句话轻描淡写的带过了;你只是对我说由于一些很私人很私人的理由不能都对我说;it's been a really stress few days in the beginning; as usual; it gets better now; you dont want to be big; you want to be influencial; you also told me about a new job you kind of dont care about but you will still do it anyway; 你对我说我应知道的你都已经告诉了我你问我你还想知道什么我没有说出来;你要我问什么呢;你叫我怎么启齿呢;都这么多年了;然后我才知道原来她一直以来都知道我的存在;你叫我怎么能够自自然然地面对她呢;为什么你告诉她关于我的而我却什么都不知道呢;这一刻我真的是不知所措无言以对;还能说什么呢;就真的是很单纯的希望我们在一起而已;原来都是可以的;一直以来是我庸人自扰;烦恼自己找;那么我要怨谁去呢;自己想太多;i miss you; give me a kiss; 是那么的真实和肯定;你一定是有你的苦衷所以我真的没有去问;何必呢;见到你就这么开心了;touching you; seeing you; why dont you call if you miss me; you didnt call too; i did; we still arguing; we cant helped it; dont say no to me and i keep on saying no to you; because this is the thing we do; dont you remember? i thought the worst thing that could happened was just you ask me to meet her; i guess im wrong this could be much worse; you said you dont want to lie; dont want to do things behind her back; now you dont need to; you happy this way; everything is out of the way; i dont know what exactly you told her and what she knew; she knows enough you said i just have to believe you until our next problem arises, until then, let us be; until then; your last words: so I see you after Xmas, ok? Yes we will and I want to!

Monday, December 23, 2013

The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

231213; 1049: 没接到你的电话;10055; 给你回电, 你在驾车;又借了朋友的车;还是在很忙很忙;我已经很习惯了;那我们明天见咯;不是今天吗?没有说好呀;可以今天也可以明天;我就决定了下来了今天吧;心里想见就见吧不用扭扭捏捏的;聊着在那里;几点;去他家还是他驾车;一堆; 只是想今晚快一点过去;因为我不知道能期待什么;我不想要任何惊喜。请你给我零惊喜!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Tears are often the telescope by which men see far into heaven.

Thank you for taking your time out for me; especially in time like this; it makes me feel really really special even though that might not be the case. 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.

211213; 1604: 没接到你的电话;1705; 给你回电,还是在讲笑着,你好吗?好啊,在那儿?在家,刚刚打给你的时候在广场你没接你怎么在广场啦少见,还不是因为要买东西给那个人,我希望是为我买那本书,就让我沾沾自喜一下吧,已经沒有很多机会了。你约我们见面预定一个日期,下个星期一或二,要在圣诞前和你见,我们很少这样预约,我不知道是为什么,可能你要介绍女朋友给我认识,终于,如果是真的我已经准备好了,就让它发生吧,反正是迟早的事。

Friday, December 20, 2013

Anyone can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success.


Thursday, December 19, 2013

I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave.

但我们所做的每一个决定不就是要让自己更快乐吗? 我也想他快乐,但如果让你重新选择答案还会一样吗?我心里真的是很复杂,你说你明白但我不敢肯定,你还有她呀! 我没有后悔过我所做的选择和决定,只是有时候会觉得可能能够伤得轻一点,所以很小心翼翼不想和你有太多的回忆和依恋,但都太迟了,太迟了。

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they're not so bad.

You won't understand; you never did; the memories you left behind.......the list goes on and I can't even begin. I don't want to care, I don't want all this, but it's impossible now. So what I can do is just to stop everything, to stop contacting, until you contact me.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Life is just one damned thing after another.

我真心希望你已经作好心里准备和计划了接下来的路程,但你看来是如此的毫无准备、轻佻、随意。这是一个如此重大的决定呀!你告诉过我有些事还不能对我说, someday, that's what you said; 各种各样的念头:做生意,买家,卖家具,我都不能帮上忙,亦有可能我其实不想帮忙,有很多事情始终是必须要自己解决的,你知道吗?

Monday, December 16, 2013

We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others.

16122013; 14:47; 00:06:39; 六分钟三十九秒;从今后我想和你的对话总免不了有一些苍凉的意味;你念了我的电邮然后说太忙回复所以就来电了;有一点儿不知所措;im listening to the killers; 我给你的音乐;why did you have to tell me what are you listening to? why? i dont give a fuck! 代表什么呢?让我知道这些又怎样呢?而我还是勉强和你玩笑着;心里真疼呢那小小的声音你能听见吗?祝福我吧;你也很忙没有提起她我没有问我答应自己我不会再问了因为我知道其实你会一直敷衍我;何必;你问我送你的三本书我都看过了吗;我就赶忙说你能送我他新的书;don't be pretentious; we are way passed that sort of thing; don't be a hypocrite; 就这样有的没的聊着;就知道一切不会再一样了;但是有一些感觉是不能隐藏的不能骗人的;那就是爱呀;而如今我已经不能再说想要一起喝酒吃晚餐看电影;我不要这样;但我能够怎样呢?我不懂;你也不会懂;想着想着我又想哭了; 你又把我弄哭了。

Sunday, December 15, 2013

...the hill has not yet lifted its face to heaven that perseverance will not gain the summit of at last.

i wanted to write; not to you directly; but just here in my own little world; it has been a week since we last seen each other; you have your own life and i go on minding my own business; i dont know what should i do; im anxious and thinking about you a lot; want to tell you everything that is happening now in my life but i know i should restrain myself; it's different now; i want to further my studies; share music movie and the usual lazy Sunday with you; but all that are not possible anymore; i need time a lot of time.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle。

Let's just admit. We are not that kind of friend anyway. I'm afraid to know about your life. Your secret. The details. I'm scare it will destroy me if it turns out totally different of the you I have in me; perhaps vice versa; i will never know.

Friday, December 13, 2013

The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.

13122013; 0919: missed call; 0927: call back, lasted 6 minute and 4 second; 原来你就是因为这样打了一通电话给我吗?这样无聊;我好累;黑色的星期五;你说你起得早然后看了我送的书很喜欢;然后来到宜家;in and out; 乱乱谈起黑色星期五; 何必呢?是不需要的;我发现了很久的是你毕竟原来其实也只不过是一个普通的男人而已;已经无需要说太多了。

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Ain't rememberin' wonderful?

# Your heart's on the loose #

# You roll them sevens with nothin' to lose #

# This ain't no place for the weary kind #

You know that song?

Hmm? Can't remember who did it.

That's the way it is with good ones.

You're sure you've heard 'em before.

You wrote that?

Yes, ma'am, just now.

This is so unfair. What?

Some people give 10 years of their life to be able to do something like that, and it just- it just pours out of you.

You mad at me?

You want me to go to a motel? No.


I don't want you to go.

Well, what then? [ Sighs ]

Well, you're writin' a song on my bed.

So? So...

every time I lie down, I'm gonna hear that beautiful goddamn song, and- And you're gonna be out there...runnin' around, not even rememberin' this day...that I can't even forget.

If I could walk, I'd come to you.Sweetie, come here. [ Sighs ] Come here. Listen to me. When I was at the hospital, I thought about who to call. [ Sniffles ] Who really gives a damn about me? And then, I thought about who I wanted to see. [ Chuckles ] You hear me? Huh? [ Sobbing ] I'm not gonna forget about you. I'm not gonna forget about this day. I promise you. [ Exhales ] Look at you.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you, and be silent.


Sunday, December 8, 2013

I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.

我怎么能欺骗自己说我不在乎呢?根本是不可能的 。你所感觉的不安完全都没有容纳我的余地, 我们还谈什么呢? 此时此刻我只愿你能找到你想要的快乐 。

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Even with the best of maps and instruments, we can never fully chart our journeys.

Others will happily make promises they can't keep. But long ago you learned never to say you'd do anything, still less make a promise,  without being sure of the foundation on which plans are based. Since that ground is shifting, and often, you're better off discussing what you hope to do, no more. -- yesterday horoscope--

Friday, December 6, 2013

If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.

Family is always my priority;  I will spend my time with them and you separately if you wonder; I'd expected you to go on your own of course anyway;  we don't always have the same idea on everything;  tiny thing like toilet seat, detergent cap; it's beyond me; I am not forcing and you don't have to feel obliged;  maybe I was right to make you the one always text me first in this relationship of ours; so that you won't think I am caring about you too much which obviously I actually am; we spent another quiet evening together;  i love driving you mad and anxious; Indian dinner; crap loads of junk; a trilogy finale; you couldn't wait and you didn't wait;  we are all in the end selfish people in our on selfish way;  you should also know your own body;  your own limit;  it's all you; you shouldn't let me mess up your life even though you know pretty well I could or thought that I should; so what do you think of the ending?

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.

you said the solution is simple; just state what you want first; but i guess this is really not a matter of who's giving in or who said what first; this is just really all about love; you compromise; period; even when it means you are thinking of one thing; or after you decided on something; yet you still willing to give in and go with something else; even though you already said it upfront; it doesn't really matter; at the end of the day; us matter; you and I matter; what you willing to do for me; that matters; and only that.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Monday, December 2, 2013

We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are


Sunday, December 1, 2013

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.

i confirm that the more i aged; the more i am getting selective with friends; i chose not to even hang out with those i like given the more obvious option; it's kind of scary.