Wednesday, April 30, 2014

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

What do you think I have been doing? That I ignore your feelings? That I don’t care about what you have to go through with your mum? That I still bug you, bother you, and stress you out knowing that all you thinking about is you mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im giving you space, leave you be in your own time.

It is in time like this we find out who we are and if we want to still be bff to each other.

I guess you never really thought about all those past reactions I gathered from our short encounter together, the short meet, the surprise visit, I learnt a great deal that, you are a solitary guy, if there’s anything you need right now, it’s not for me to be clingy but you just need a lot a lot of time to deal with things. If I can’t offer any help and consolation I might as well just shut up.

Why do you think I write less, call less and text less? And look where it gets me, the kind of insult I’m getting from you.

Don’t you dare to tell me I think what you going thru is easy? Don’t you dare!

Stay away from my life, I know what I am doing with it. I didn’t jump in and criticize yours!

You really do not know me!!!!!

If you do not care how I treat you and what I feel about all this, why should I give a shit and care. You can go fuck yourself.

People forget what you say and do, but they NEVER, NEVER forget how you make them feel, NEVER!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Mighty hard to tell the people you love you’re a failure.

I'm back home. I'm thinking about you. I don't want to be unfair and assume. Everybody has their own problem in their own world. I just want to know and be ready. I want you to be really sure you want and ready to be with me. You said when all this is over, you will come see me and make peace with me. I stay quiet, not sure how to response to that. I can't explain my feelings with you, maybe it's love and maybe it not yet. I need a strong reason to convince myself. I really miss you and I want to tell you that. 

Monday, April 28, 2014

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes.

Then I realise;
This is it;
We talked about it;
Give it time;
Being apart;
Maybe then we will realise;
Completely realise;
That we actually cannot live without each other.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.

26Apr2014; 9:36pm


thank you for the call; you haven't been forgotten; in this case i wish i have been forgotten; i wish you have moved on and decided that the best is for us to no longer to have anything to do with each other; i want you to be the one who say it first; i am that kind of person.

ive been thinking about you; the time we spent together; silly times; good times; some emotional havoc; and even bad timing one; i come to realize that i am into you; forgive me; you may wonder why but its not something i can explain; i know we only know each other for a short period of time; something keeps drawing me back, it makes me want to get to know you better; makes me want to go further and see if this will work. it's intriguing in a good way. i haven't felt this way for a long time.

life as it is happens one day at a time; everyone has a hard battle to fight; some fighting harder battle; it is still life nonetheless; it makes you wonder its purpose and your existence; i think i am only existing not living; im not trying to be philosophical here; the passed amount of time that we spent together we have been sharing a lot of things whether you realize or not; or you probably still think i didn't share much; but i did.

i want to continue to see you; to know you; that i have no doubt in my mind; just a matter of how to do it; that is the question; it is also a question of do you want to also see me? do you want to still do this? otherwise if i am clapping with my one hand there is no point.

i am ready for everything and anything; under such circumstances all this between us is not your priority; i'd understand; though I'm pretty sure we know well we are here doing our own things; living our own life; in our own little world. we also clearly know that we are with each other; we thinking about each other (well, at least i am thinking about you); i may not call, text or write but that doesn't mean i forget; i just merely don't want to load you with anymore things to do; like i say; i should be the last thing, if anything. without any obligation you may call, text, mail any time at your convenient when you wish; if you wish.

sometimes I'm really a pain, neurotic really (i get that from my mum, i think :) ) too hard on myself too many times and making other people uncomfortable being around me, I'm never really the blunt type too, it makes things even harder (or worse). funny thing is that i realize all that very much and very clearly. i always afraid i hurt people and ended up doing just that; hope i can loosen up, really loosen up.

i always like the way how you gently hold my hand, while you driving and i often think about those moments.

that's all i want to tell you; for now.

take good care and be well.


“Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won't find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved hope to maintain (against the evidence of all self-knowledge) a precarious faith in our species.” ― Alain de Botton

Saturday, April 26, 2014

The more virtuous any man is, the less easily does he suspect others to be vicious.

i thought we are cooling off; i thought you have taken the time to do some thinking; our last mail and conversation was 5 days ago; now that i found out actually you were busy; you stop dealing with non-essential things; i am your non-essential thing; i do not mind; why did you still call; why you still drop in a piece of rock in my peacefully resting pool and creates ripple; i thought it's better off you don't call, text or e-mail; i was surprise you are back; you told me it will be tough for you in the upcoming days and months the hundred and million times; the things you need to deal with; there's nothing i can do; not for you; not for me; like you im just living one day at a time; it waits for no one; im sad to know that i am unimportant because of the short time we know each other; it's not long enough for you to care and it shouldn't be long enough for me to fall deep; i don't want to be the things you have to deal with; without each other we are both fine; but while you asking me what best, what works, what i want, at the same time i hope you think about the same thing too; because as much as we want it to be or i want it to be; this is not a game that only one player is playing; at the end of it i still want the same old thing; i want to get to know you better; thats all; thats all.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Our patience will achieve more than our force.

can you not hurt me if i tell you the truth; i've been thinking about you all the time; the time that we spent together; the longer and the further away we are the more i am missing you; i couldn't believe it at first; slowly now these days; it seems clearer to me; the things that you've said; it all makes much more sense; everything seems clearer to me; i want to be together with you; given the choice; "I really wonder if I should let you go, given that there is little that we can do for each other, today."; i cried after i read that; it hurts knowing that you might want to let go; it burns knowing that you might just allow me to let go; it strikes me; i am so helpless and feel everything around me is pointless; not unless if i am with you; i really feel that we should be together because in my mind; in my heart; i know for a fact that; we will be so so good; together.

i fell in love with you; right here; right now.

Friday, April 18, 2014

The secret of being boring is to say everything.

he just tell me; you need to start to relax; lighten up; don't be too hard on yourself; i really wish i could; maybe i could.

i need you here with me; now.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The best things carried to excess are wrong.

In retrospect, if you have done that first, pushing me to the limit, showing me all your true color, belittle me, I would've walked away. 

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well.

The person who can potentially be “the one” for you is the person who opens your eyes to a new, slightly different reality. He or she will expose you to parts of the world you didn’t know existed. This person will change your life and do so for the positive. He or she will make your life better, a whole lot better.

Throughout our lives, we meet plenty of individuals. Some great, others awful; it’s simply the way it is. But even the awesome people we meet usually aren’t capable of broadening our horizons.


Friday, April 4, 2014

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

i always say bad things about myself and more things to piss you off; because i want you to ditch me first.