26Apr2014; 9:36pm
Hi,
thank you for the call; you haven't been forgotten; in this case i wish i have been forgotten; i wish you have moved on and decided that the best is for us to no longer to have anything to do with each other; i want you to be the one who say it first; i am that kind of person.
ive been thinking about you; the time we spent together; silly times; good times; some emotional havoc; and even bad timing one; i come to realize that i am into you; forgive me; you may wonder why but its not something i can explain; i know we only know each other for a short period of time; something keeps drawing me back, it makes me want to get to know you better; makes me want to go further and see if this will work. it's intriguing in a good way. i haven't felt this way for a long time.
life as it is happens one day at a time; everyone has a hard battle to fight; some fighting harder battle; it is still life nonetheless; it makes you wonder its purpose and your existence; i think i am only existing not living; im not trying to be philosophical here; the passed amount of time that we spent together we have been sharing a lot of things whether you realize or not; or you probably still think i didn't share much; but i did.
i want to continue to see you; to know you; that i have no doubt in my mind; just a matter of how to do it; that is the question; it is also a question of do you want to also see me? do you want to still do this? otherwise if i am clapping with my one hand there is no point.
i am ready for everything and anything; under such circumstances all this between us is not your priority; i'd understand; though I'm pretty sure we know well we are here doing our own things; living our own life; in our own little world. we also clearly know that we are with each other; we thinking about each other (well, at least i am thinking about you); i may not call, text or write but that doesn't mean i forget; i just merely don't want to load you with anymore things to do; like i say; i should be the last thing, if anything. without any obligation you may call, text, mail any time at your convenient when you wish; if you wish.
sometimes I'm really a pain, neurotic really (i get that from my mum, i think :) ) too hard on myself too many times and making other people uncomfortable being around me, I'm never really the blunt type too, it makes things even harder (or worse). funny thing is that i realize all that very much and very clearly. i always afraid i hurt people and ended up doing just that; hope i can loosen up, really loosen up.
i always like the way how you gently hold my hand, while you driving and i often think about those moments.
that's all i want to tell you; for now.
take good care and be well.
xx
“Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won't find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved hope to maintain (against the evidence of all self-knowledge) a precarious faith in our species.” ― Alain de Botton
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