Monday, August 29, 2016

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much.















I do not know if there's an element of compensation when you get to know someone that they are in your life to replace shortly or to compensate briefly what they did not get before in their life.

Monday, August 22, 2016

I just need to be mad for a little while, okay? I know it might not be the most mature thing, but there it is.














Because i can't just lie to myself and tell myself that i can be your friend.
At least not right now.
I don't know when.
But definitely not right now.
Maybe time will pass. This will fade. But until then. I'm still in love with you.

Monday, August 15, 2016

You don’t have to defend or explain your decisions to anyone. It’s your life. Live it without apologies.














I don't want everything.
I only want you.
When you tell me you still love me so much
And that i am fantastic cute
And that you want me all by yourself
And that you tie up to me
And that the desire to fuck me is so strong
All these words make me melt and into you.
Just because you treat me so well that i really don't deserve.
Its hard to lose you, but keeping you is harder.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.















All the thing i like to hear.
That you hope i dont make good coffee so that i can always go back to you.
And that you can get used of having me morning and evening.
Always.

Friday, August 5, 2016

And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.














Hi N. You are sleeping and i want to write you. 

Thank you again for making time for me, i know it's not easy for you to split and still have to take care of me. I still enjoy time with you even though now apart. our physical contact had made things feel greater and better, when i get to kiss you, feel you, touch you, hold you ever so softly and gently, nonetheless i value this precious relationship very much with or without sex. I masturbate to the thoughts of you after our call just now, i want you to know that, to tell you i didn't forget you, not something so easy to do. Image of us wildly fucking each other, or making love to each other, it's insane....this definitely won't be a slow fade. I already learn this language with you that is so hard to reverse, well, maybe we can focus on new type of language, soon.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

How you can already miss someone when you are in the same room with them, I have no idea. But I do.

















One way or another;

it may eventually subside;

you say the desire of having me is overwhelming;

but it will be short-lived;

as in now the moment;

we are far apart;

and with other obstacles;

then i will only be a memory in your mind;

forever.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Promise me you’ll never forget me because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.




















you are off for whole week this week;
you called me and sometimes sharing about some small little matter;
i have to admit;
i am more anti social that you are;
i chose to be loner;
not to be hurt;
do everything on my own;
rely on myself;
even though i know i can ask other to help;
simply to avoid disappointment;
i know sometimes it is ok to ask;
i chose not to;
i made my choices;
so i can not blame anybody;
but myself.

One way or another; it may eventually subside; you say the desire of having me is overwhelming; but it will be shortlived; as in now the moment; we are far apart; and with other obstacles; then i will only be a memory in your mind; forever.




















i lose track and i am not so sure if we are prolonging our joy or our pain.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

One day you will need someone like air and someone will be like the air you need.





















Maybe i just have to surrender to the fact that i will not find anyone for me to settle in the long term. Not for now anyway.

Fall if you will, but rise you must.




















It's funny how it's so different when we talk about the weather;
I'm more afraid we got trap and can't come back on time and you have to tell more lies;
With you being so optimistic;
You are thinking more like we will still have a good time despite the bad weather;
But nevertheless its already in my mind we are going to have a good time anyway.

You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.














Because I won't know when are you online.
Because i dont see the last seen today.
Because we can escape to a reality we don't want to face.
Because we can lie.
Because we do not have to talk about mundane stuff.
Because we do not have to talk about the child we might have had.
Because we do not need to talk about money.
Because we do not need to talk about our problem.

I, then, realise i am your escape.
Your happy little escape.
That i am willingly want to be.

Because that makes you also mine.