Some people say that dreaming gets you nowhere in life. But I say you can't get anywhere in life without dreaming.

in our case, yes - love becomes something that grows, in time and with time. it has to be.

if anything, for now, i like you and i admire you.

I would like to build a home, one with love and passion. The ability to own a house, have kids all are physically possible. a "home" is a different thing. if there's one goal you and i have, ultimately is that, i guess.

you ask me can i build a home with you? i can tell you honestly i can. should it be overtime instill love in it as you said to grow love? or we should love, trust, respect, understand, care for each other first only then take the next step forward? i wonder and no one will have an answer. Can we also just say "let's do it"? :) we dont know.

can you and do you want to build a home with me?

funny thing about you and i, as furious as our fight/conversation hit up, we dont stay mad with each other for long and that gives me hope to go on, everyday.

these are the things im thinking about when we are apart, the possibility of us being together, to shorten the distance.

At time, i am just too forgetful and often make terrible blunder, but i am not making it as an excuse and say it's ok to repeat that. me too living, surviving one day at a time, it scares me, life is as such, a cliche, in the end, it goes on.

You have to ask (what can you do that) will make tomorrow better than today?

I am hanging onto something that I can't see.

Don't allow yourself to be intimidated! There is more than one road to joy.

I'm watching you like a spectator, helplessly. I can offer you nothing in life that she is able to. It makes me wonder about my purpose in this whole journey with you. I say I don't mind, I lie. Coz in the end if I'm not in any part of your sharing however small it maybe, I do actually mind, I do.

If you are patient in one moment of anger you will save a thousand days of sorrow.

It's like your life only make out of three main components, the more you tell me about them the more I feel detach from your life where we should be the other way around, we should be attach and figure a way out to be together with each other, too often i feel rejected and dont belong in a relationship with you, at all.

this, you do not know.

you mustn't lose it.

we try to build moment and experience that we can share together, at least i want to, all i remember now are all the pointless arguments and fights.

ok, maybe the time we cook pasta too, that's about all.

it makes me very sad to say that.

You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand.

I left early from work, 2 hour early last Friday, just to please you. You specifically ask me to, get off at 4pm, reach between 6pm-7pm, precisely. It takes a bit too long due to rush hour traffic, you even thought I might stop somewhere to have a coffee so that I will reach you right in time, and that I didn't actually get off at four. you don't even call, playing guessing game. I reached at the time you wanted me to, you seem delighted and pleased. I thought I haven't been really listening to you so this time I should. I really want to see you, be with you.

The idea of you slowly in my life, that confirmation freaks me out and that no one actually care enough to stay touches me the most, even you said so. You said you really like me and care about me, you even put a lot of contacts behind, casual one, starting to tell you friend about me in a nice way generally. 

Still we had argument, coz you don't tell me a lot and it seems like you are using me, I'm upset. We walked by the beach, I start to care for you too much and too hard.

I have no say about some choices you made in your past, I feel unfair, I mind, there's nothing I can do about it but somehow give in because I want you here and now, to start to build our moment together, the things that only belong to us and no one else.

I am selfish, I have to admit. From now on, I kinda promise myself to worry less and not give you a hard time anymore, anymore. 

I love you. I begin to.

After much suffering and torment, I was resurrected large, and pure, and immaculate.

Point #1: Respect your space and time - which includes:-

·         No surprise visit

·         Visiting within time range and specific request

·         No odd hour call


Point #2: design your life

Point #3: find depth, elegant, serenity

Point #4: find peace

Point #5: live your life, live the way you want

Point #6: think big, rise to the occasion

Do you remember the one thing you say you will never take away from anybody – their choices?

You mentioned so many points, I feel I am slowly losing my choices, my freedom, my identity, my thought, my voice. You can argue otherwise that this is how you want them, because you have your way. I understand. I have mine too and whatever way I do thing is always the wrong way, the way that you don’t like, the way that will invade your space, your time.

If you are planning to programme me, sure go ahead, be my guest! I am a human being, just a human being. I can only let you set me a limit too many times.

For last Friday, if I insist stubbornly I want to get off 6pm, I will not be able to see you - but i care and want to see you so much i make the effort, what if there's really time in future that i cant get off, will you be flexible and allow me to come late without feeling upset? without feeling i dont give you YOUR SPACE/ YOUR TIME?

For the 2am call, it’s just something “random” that I feel I want to do.

You can set rules and I can also set mine too. I am hanging on and see how many times I can cope until eventually I cannot take it, explode and go on my way.

I am just a very sensitive, emotional human being. I start to care for you so much it not really funny.

If we cannot figure out how to compromise, it’s very very hard to go on and we will just end up always agitate, annoy each other with nothing great coming out then hate each other. Now that I know “Random”, “Surprises” are not your favourite word in the world.

Please please don’t pretend and do not say anymore “ I can do whatever I want” because you forget to insert – “You can do whatever you want, (but on MY TERM)”.

I can never ever do what I want, at least it is on your term.

I feel you STILL want to maintain the same life you are having but you want a partner that totally MATCH your time, your space, as if the other person time and space do not exist. I am a selfish person too i admit, but i start to think about you. you may say the same thing, but i really don't feel it, instead you make me feel im not worth your time unless i match your time.

You really have a way of bringing my mood down instantly, I was happy, very very happy until you call.

Forgive all my rude & "not nice" comment, that's all the "intelligent" things i have in mind right now.

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

you are no less stranger than me, i start to miss you more and more terribly these days, oddly. i even miss the time we fight. in the end, when we see thru sex and appearance, small things will keep us alive, that is what i am trying to say, practicality aside, as much as we want to be together, we cant just say we want to be together, in the end, there must be something there to keep us going. i realise that today. i will never be nice to you for some unknown reasons.

The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

1. we are not here to give each other hard time. we acknowledge that.

2. it used to be easy to say "we are just talking right", it is beyond that point now - we are NOT just talking.

3. whatever move we make will affect the other person, direct and indirectly. past, present, future.

4. i will still worry. period.

5. i will not stop saying stupid things. period again.




This plan really sucks!

from your "Not buddy buddy"

This is your world. Shape it or someone else will.

I know you may still find it hard to believe I am actually relax and “not tense” or “intense” when I am with you, but this is absolutely true.

I will only find it annoying when you are the one who is contradicting and frequent minded and often ask me to decide, do what I want for my life. Etc.

I may spend awful amount of time indoor but that is not because you did not bring me anywhere, but because I am an indoor person, a couch potato. Im more than happy to whenever we decide to do something together.

So you see, “together” is the key word. Everything loses its meaning if that is not something we decide that we want to do together, even if it’s you want some quiet time and I’m going to class, when we don’t get to spend time this weekend doesn’t mean we growing apart, on the contrary the consensus and understanding on our life and situation just goes to show that our maturity.

Am I making any sense with this?

We are not in each other’s disposal, when we decide to do something is because we both “want to” NOT force to.

The only real elegance is in the mind, and if you've got that, the rest naturally flows from it.

i need you and you are not here with me. 

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.

1. im tired. do whatever you please. you are not a child. you don't need anyone to tell you what to do.

2. telling me about her neglected upbringing doesn't change the fact there's still need to be a solution.

3. you already have a practical solution, im not trying to give you a hard time, question is what next?

4. you have nothing to hide from me. just that you and I never share enough.

5. if it's late at night, call, ill still pick up, least you can do write. will you afraid to call your best friend because its late, otherwise try start changing your routine/ habit. call earlier. when someone else is in your life, you compromise if you want to.

6. when people like me make mistakes, it's the worst and life shattering, it takes time for us to forgive ourselves, i don't want to make any mistake, with you, or i should say to minimize mistake because in life mistake is inevitable and the consequences now is a child's life is at stake.

Ambition has one heel nailed in well, though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.

elegance.

depth.

serenity.


you are speaking a language that i do not understand.

Don't give the people what they want, give them something better.

I storm off within the first 15 minute we see each other; all I hear is blaming, finger pointing, useless whining; start to be like an adult if you really want to talk; I drive off; no turning back; you called; not giving up; because I know staying will not help; you will not even take me seriously if I stayed; I do not give other people shit, do not give me any shit ever; simply put we both need a big slap on our face; just because of one thing; I didn’t take a few hours off; that’s it; too little of a thing to matter; am I or am I not here? I keep asking the same question; hoping that you realize; this is the one moment that matters to the both of us; other than that, nothing else really matters; I drew you a picture on how I envision you and I to be; that’s all that I am asking for.

No home is complete without affection. You can have all the Picassos in the world or walls made of gold, but without affection it's nothing.

如果你能说这样的话；就真的证明你真的是恨我入骨；何必呢？都已经是这么多年的事了；这样看不开放在心上；又怎样呢？

我；

无；

言。

I know you can't save every dog. But you can totally try to save the dog that's in front of you.

few things.............

You have the tendency on overreacting on things; way too sensitive than me; say something and then want to unsay something; always think there is something behind something.

You were telling about your indecent past; im curious; I can only be curious because I cant change the past; you just have to have the last words and treat everything as competition; “don’t worry, you are as lonely as I am, although you don’t say anything about it.”

Not everything is about you and me.

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.

we argue about the smallest thing; but the reason simply we have not shared our plan and you felt that something has been taken away from you; i guess at the end of the day there's nothing complicated about a relationship; you chose to be together or not; if you do, just suck it up, get on with it; argue; make peace; argue; make peace and don't forget to love each other; otherwise you can always (always!) walk away.

We have failed to recognize our one great asset: time. A conscientious use of it could make us into something quite amazing.

吵吵闹闹的还是和你过了最后一晚；其实很多时候你对我还是有很自私的心态；我们只是好朋友；有些事情还是不能理所当然就当作是这样；更何况你还在和你二十年的女朋友挣扎；那我还能说什么呢？

He who laughs, lasts!

Everyone is selfish, I guess.

What I don't understand is the real reason why you like me. At least you can say I am going after your semi D, a charming mat salleh who is a scientist, a lecturer at a renowned university in Malaysia, make shit loads of money, etc, I have everything to gain with you, right?

What do you get from me? I offer you nothing but emotional roller coaster ride most of the time.

I just want to live my life and be happy. 

Wealth is the slave of the wise man and master of the fool.

i used to spend weekends in my little room, little world with books, movies, music, mall strolling, when i have some money i go travel; then i realize one day i should better myself, i have the time and can afford it; i don't need to think about other people; don't exactly have any commitment; to say yes and further my studies wasn't really a hard decision for me; i am a short term person; i live small and well; earning enough to get by monthly; paying 5 insurance prepare to live and grow old alone; i have saving about RM30,000; i just take it as things come.

i admire people with special skill-set/ expertise, like the Japanese baker, open a small bakery with his wife, are they happy? are they making good money? i dont know. all i know is a good life is how you make of it; if one thinks that is good enough then it will be, otherwise one will never be satisfied with what they having.

i dont have dream to do big things and contribute to society or the greater cause of human being; i want to just at least live well as a decent human being.

i think about my studies, work and also you a lot lately; while still living one day at a time; i also think most about what we can do with each other's life or as you put it what can i bring to the table and the possibilities of being together. 

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

sometimes i think you missing the point of me being with you. i told you why i like you and that i want to find out more about you, know you better. is it because the reason doesn't match yours? what are you afraid of? that i cant contribute any good in your life? that you can provide me with a Semi D, a big fat check, a good job/ status and in return you are getting nothing from me?

is there something you see that i don't? what am i missing here? 

No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.

"My Father died. Do you have any idea how lonely it is when Parents die?" - i will never know how that feels, now matter how hard i imagine it, not until when it happens. i don't want to act like i understand your pain.

I am doing this because i care. Let's keep being ourselves and be friend, this is what we have been doing for months now.

Can we keep this going without having the feeling that you want to not even try first?

Please.

There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.

Have patience with me, please; as you would ask me to have patience with you; we really need that for each other; please don't assume that i know your world because i don't at all; just explain to me patiently and i would understand; i will step back; likewise i will do exactly the same.

Please.

In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.

You told me again you don’t do long distance; it’s just too hard; I cant help but wonder even if I am there; what can I do; how will we go on; we care for each other but that does not mean is enough; there’s just so many things on your plate; I can sit here and wait for you anxiously; feeling so helpless; we are not perfect; we slowly naming each other flaw; what we like and don’t like about each other; we change it in order to go on but that doesn’t really mean we are not  the same person; if anything; we want to be better person to each other; only better and better.

The average person thinks he isn't.

We like and care for each other; there will be time we question what else is there when we think liking and caring for each other are no longer enough.

We each have all the time there is; our mental and moral status is determined by what we do with it.

this time you are in Italy for real; we skype and you told me a little bit about your trip, your expectation; my expectation; the question should be what is our expectation.

you skype with my niece; i have not seen you smile so happily ever since i know you; i was so happy we did that.

woke up 4 in the morning; thought of you; called; you were having dinner at a really nice place that bears a lot of memories; this might be the last of it; place you grew up in; glad i caught you at the right time; you said i had a thing with you; sex is not the best; somehow rather we click.

time will tell, it always do.

Enthusiasm in our daily work lightens effort and turns even labor into pleasant tasks.

you ask me if you move how many times will i come and see you; not often; definitely not once a week; even once a month is a drag; you have to understand i prioritize things; including you; you say i am the first and last reason you are here; im flattered but i dont believe you; there's so many things; let's just settle it one day at a time, without thinking too way ahead now, shall we?

Seeing anyone do what they do best is beautiful.

you ask me to put ice on my head for 5 min; i swear at that exact moment; i like you and feel that you have grown on me; really; but maybe just for that 5 short minutes. 

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

EVEN during periods when little is changing around you, the line between situations where you are in control and destiny can be unclear. At the moment, however, you are wondering if you've any influence on the events taking place. While it may seem as though you don't, when you look back later, you will realize you did.

                                                                 ~ daily horoscope

Thank you for being who you are, even when I wasn't who I should have been.

you may not know it; you have a calming effect on me; that's what i like about you.

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.

i always worry but there is no one to ask me not to worry, like you did.

Do not falter or shrink; But just think out your work, And just work out your think.

the last meeting was really hard for the both of us; although we tried to be as accommodating as possible; then you made me realise; we do not need to be right all the time; we do not even need to be accommodating; that's kind of the whole point; i was feeling upset because i was doing my best; but we do not need to do our best all the time; we are just fine as we are; as it is; everything will be fine; stop being so hard on yourself; just stop.

The most that we can do is to hope for the best till we know the worst. Of course, we shall make the best of the worse when it comes.

I am thinking about you a lot, to be with you, to start a family with you, to have kids with you, to build a home with you, you said I hate you sometimes but that's not true, you rephrase that I can't stand you, that is right and you said that's almost the same thing, that is hardly the same thing, it's totally different thing, I do not hate you at all, if anything you just drive me mad and that's all. I swear sometimes the thing you said is deliberate because you want to drive me away, but unknowingly all this is just driving me closer to you, unknowingly so.

Aspire, break bounds. Endeavor to be good, and better still, best.

you drop by; took me by surprise; i wanted to walk away; you hold my hand; calm me down so we dont go to bed early; you have a way with me that even you may not aware about and i have to keep you by my side for this way that you have with me like no other.

To know a truth well, one must have fought it out.

you telling me the story; your version; i want to be fair; i have to listen to hers too; for now i can only wish you well; be very very well.

Now is the time to understand more, so we fear less.

if we are more and well educated, why is there more war? my parents time, they are much less educated and yet they understand the meaning of patience and compromise.

why?

When a man thinks he is reading the character of another, he is often unconsciously betraying his own.

You have a way to turn things around and make me feel shitty about myself but in the end i only feel stronger. You said you have no idea what we are doing here, I reply even if I am from the same place as you, there is no guarantee everything will work out, no one can predict the future, why can't you just trust us this once and go on ahead be with me then we see how we go. What is the worse thing that can happen if we give this a shot?

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.

i really have no mood tonight; for a movie; for any conversation; you were telling me about your new business venture; naming it; asking me opinion; I roll my eyes; not in a condescending way; just that for all the things I have to say you have a way to justify it; it is just alright for me; I appreciate the fact that you appreciate my input; just that a lot of things in my mind; you said I am too young to be jaded; I am thinking I am at the exact age to be jaded; I am in between; perhaps you see through things way more; really not tonight; I don’t even want to watch a movie which I normally will not decline; perhaps is the study bit; you keep on asking me; is it something personally? But you know far well better than I; if you don’t even share your story; you actually do not have to right to ask me; friendship should be fair; the way you treat people and the way you want people to treat you; there’s no two ways about it; you praise my clothes and my jeans; keep on talking to a point that I lost track of you and your voice; too long winded; too much talking; everything at this point; just too much; I can’t even imagine that I can actually hate you.

But i do. i really do.

Tonight.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

You don't do long distance; you said it a lot of times; then what are we doing now; so we are not seeing each other; are we open to see other people? We never ask; never say; never discuss about it; we are just taking it as it is; all this while; remember that time I haven't see you for three months; but the emotion that rushing in the moment we see each other; do you remember? You can't lie about things like that; me too don't like long distance relationship; it sucks; I called you three times; you didn't pick up; I guess it that much either you switch your phone to silent and sleep again; or you simply need some quiet alone time; either way I am fine really; i really want to call and say hi; although I am dying to know how your day was; how the open day went; what do you think about my assignment; all these questions I kept it to myself too afraid to ask; I can imagine because you are a guy that annoyed with only the slightest of background noise while we are talking on the phone and all I'm doing is driving; I didn't take it personally seriously; never do and never will; I don't know you a lot but I know that much; you sent me all your weekend plans; I was quite surprise; you normally don't plan long; still I check if it's ok for me to come over; you can only confirm it tomorrow as expected; I am ok although I nearly book the ticket; by now you should know me a bit better what type of person I am; I will be the last to want to bother you and invade your space; I am happy you invite me for a birthday party; you said that's part of how you slowly want to show me your world; then I am confuse; because I say I do not want you to feel obliged or that I am like your liability; but you say I am not that is why you want to bring me; all the last event you didn't bring along a lot of women to this kind of party; afraid people assuming that whoever you are with are your partner; with me you said you are not worry; I have a feeing that if I walk away now; if we say no now and walk out each other's life; you won't care less; you won't even move a muscle; that very idea scares me; then you also say you don't mind to meet the kiddos; at times I'm confuse and wonder what do you exactly look for; is it really me or could it be someone else?

Maybe just maybe on second thought; we are better off staying away from each other's life.

Do not be afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

i simply dont want to be the one who started to care and in the end get hurt and disappointed.

Enthusiasm in our daily work lightens effort and turns even labor into pleasant tasks.

the questions about life and like are getting a bit old by now.

don't you think?

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.

you ask why am i so furious every time i talked about him; because i disappointed with myself, i am a failure, i let him drag me on and mess up my life for so long; you say i need to look for interesting people; when you were 20; you don't know what interesting means and you don't even know if you are interesting; it's a bit too late now; nonetheless thanks for the suggestion; when i ask you how do you live with someone? i don't; how can you even tell me to love myself and love my life when you can't even live with someone? i know what i want; i know what i am doing; but if this is just leading us to different direction; i rather you say no now and give this up because to you i don't even matter; that actually hurts, really hurts.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Many many times when you were telling me how sad and helpless you are, I really hope that I can be there for you, at least to hold you and be with you during those times. I couldn't. Long distance is sucks. It is what it is now until we decide to give it up.

Don't beat yourself up too much about your mum, I know there's a sense of guilt, let's hope she is in a better peaceful place now. Your relationship with your mum was truly a challenging one. You are living now, carrying on with your life. I'm not here to ask you to do nothing and forget her, instead remember her always the best possible way. There's still much you need to do, a lot of things to clean up, to settle, I hope these are not burdens for you but just a mean to live. You gotto do what you gotto do, right? Thank you for your invitation, let's plan it early.

I don't mean to say things and pretend that I know things that you don't, I just want you to know that I am here for you, ok?

xx

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.

一个月了。你回来了。直接从机场打电话给我。迫不急待想要见面。还是在车站摆了个大乌龙。见到你真好。你说你早已经知道。只是你不想问。今天你问了。我告诉你我在见着一个人。他会弄你笑吗?你会作弄他吗?他高吗？胖吗？几岁？ 为什么问这些问题？为什么要比较？和你有关系吗？你要知道这些都不是只是在我和你身上会发生的。你要知道我和他是认真的吗？已经谈婚论嫁了吗？我说还没有但是我很喜欢他。你应该知道，所以我告诉了你。有分别吗？你问。当然有。我不想伤害任何人。我会知道啊。我不知道我有没有伤害过你。那不重要。那么我们之间什么最重要呢？如果你没有女朋友你会和我在一起吗？当然。可是你连自己的问题都没有办法对我说，那你究竟当我是什么样子的朋友呢？我们磨了8年了。不能这样就说无所谓。我赞同。但是我是懦弱的。你会对我失望吗？我只是对之前伤害你的男人失望，我恨不得打他们出气，我有一股保护你的劲，不想让任何人伤害你，你会原谅我吗？你是我的朋友啊。最后我们也还是就先继续这样吧。有可能你和这个男人也不会有什么结果。我知道你会替我高兴；但我也知道你是自私的；你想将我占为己有；你也很妒忌；但是为何你没有成为我的男人呢？八年了。想想吧。

You really have no idea, no idea at all.

If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week

这个周末我们聊了更多。象是更加肯定了彼此。但我们还是有疑虑和不确定。更多的是来自于对彼此的认识。

We both wanted to see each other. That’s why we are here. We taking it easy. Even manage to spend some time in the pool. Had a simple nice dinner. Usual place. You say you run deep as so am I. that is why we are still here.

I could fall in love with you and be with you. How serious do you want this to be? Often times you don't like me to tell you what to do. We both independent and capable.  We can manage and we have been managing it for so long. It feels so good to be able to hold each other so tight, feeling each other’s existence physically, a kind of assurance that no matter what, everything is actually going to be alright.

You still very sad and hurt. About your mother departure.  I wish there's more I can do for you but there's none. I can only listen.

You want me to come in Sept with you.  That’s the last chance for me to see your world.  Where you came from. A place you once called home.  Also to put my practical side into good use. You already planning much ahead without me saying anything. I have stopped to think so far off long time ago.

I have not much to offer in terms of money.  This is the part we haven't really figure out and the distance.

You suggest to stay at least three months together.  I thought two weeks should be enough.  You say to see thru someone human side. It takes more time and unlike me you are slow.

You like me how I am not here to bull shit you where you really value my patience and kindness. I am doing my best dear. Just thought you should know.

Still. Let's just take it slow.  Take our time. One day at a time to see how it goes, shall we?

First weigh the considerations, then take the risks.

Because I don’t need to worry about you at all; I do not need to think about you and what you are doing right now;

all this matters;

yes it does.

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.

it is no longer a matter of like or dislike;
it is not even a matter of a better choice;
what is more important is in fact;
we enjoying each other's company now so much and we want to be;
living in it as it is.

This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.

we were so tired and exhausted; we slept so long and we didn't even do much. 

He can do more for others who has done most with himself.

I am sitting at the same place; arrive early waiting for you; you walk to me; greet me and kiss me; I miss you; you look good; in fact we miss each other terribly; you have your unusual way dealing with things that I do not want to interfere because you have been doing this for so long; you manage until now and so did I; if you let me be and i should also let you be; that’s my take; we went out for dinner; you were talking about some notes; want to take a walk have a coffee and tell me all about it; when we reach home; I undress and get all comfortable; the moment passed; you don’t want to talk about the note anymore; you are not in the mood; I apologize and feel bad; you are tired; we talk in the morning you said; you awake at my slightest movement because I was up and couldn’t sleep anymore; you started to pour it out; your note; you were telling me how hard your life has been and how your life is still hard; showing me a lot of things; you are planning way ahead; need me to be there; my practicality might be put into good use in helping you; you crying a little; getting really emotional; that you are so alone scare and screw up; I quietly listen; that's all you want me to do; you know what you are doing; you don’t need my advice; you just afraid you cant last any longer and kill yourself; give it a year; you say; you don’t even care if I want to be with you; then you told me i dont need to buy anything; the house is big enough to live; you always full of contradiction; the notion of having kids with your ex; can i disagree? also some one gave birth to your possible child; all of this; what can i do? how do i deal with it? you even show me photo; I am already with you; the feeling I have for you; the way you mention a home, having children and how you slowly quietly say I love you……………all that I can hear you; all that I pay attention; all that I know, because me too, me too.

Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.

The long away two week trip has finally over, you are back, asking me to call, telling me I am kind, thanking me for being nice, you still have much to settle, you told me you are coming this Wednesday for a meeting, I asked when did you found out, you said weeks ago, I cancel a plan to see you because I want to see you, I know I can do whatever I like and so can you, You criticize my English, I ask you to give me a break, I'm not upset about the late notice, I just want you to know each of us have our own life to live, if you start to let someone in you have to start to think about them in any situation, be thoughtful and considerate, I am not sitting around here just waiting for you, I understand you are busy and things are crazy that you have to deal with a lot of stuff, that makes me low in priority, I really understand that. All I'm asking is just for you to start think about me, sometime. Even sometimes. That is enough.