Friday, July 11, 2014

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

You don't do long distance; you said it a lot of times; then what are we doing now; so we are not seeing each other; are we open to see other people? We never ask; never say; never discuss about it; we are just taking it as it is; all this while; remember that time I haven't see you for three months; but the emotion that rushing in the moment we see each other; do you remember? You can't lie about things like that; me too don't like long distance relationship; it sucks; I called you three times; you didn't pick up; I guess it that much either you switch your phone to silent and sleep again; or you simply need some quiet alone time; either way I am fine really; i really want to call and say hi; although I am dying to know how your day was; how the open day went; what do you think about my assignment; all these questions I kept it to myself too afraid to ask; I can imagine because you are a guy that annoyed with only the slightest of background noise while we are talking on the phone and all I'm doing is driving; I didn't take it personally seriously; never do and never will; I don't know you a lot but I know that much; you sent me all your weekend plans; I was quite surprise; you normally don't plan long; still I check if it's ok for me to come over; you can only confirm it tomorrow as expected; I am ok although I nearly book the ticket; by now you should know me a bit better what type of person I am; I will be the last to want to bother you and invade your space; I am happy you invite me for a birthday party; you said that's part of how you slowly want to show me your world; then I am confuse; because I say I do not want you to feel obliged or that I am like your liability; but you say I am not that is why you want to bring me; all the last event you didn't bring along a lot of women to this kind of party; afraid people assuming that whoever you are with are your partner; with me you said you are not worry; I have a feeing that if I walk away now; if we say no now and walk out each other's life; you won't care less; you won't even move a muscle; that very idea scares me; then you also say you don't mind to meet the kiddos; at times I'm confuse and wonder what do you exactly look for; is it really me or could it be someone else?

Maybe just maybe on second thought; we are better off staying away from each other's life.

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