Tuesday, March 1, 2016

I am figuring out which parts of my personality are mine 
and which ones I created to please you.

I am glad we see us before you leave for long; just two weeks; but still long; before our holiday begins; you brought again gift and ruler; to make sure of something; U did; I won; bloody 148; i think i am going to tattoo that number; forever inked; still somehow no trust; we had a brief chat about our day; about being good at work; the feeling of being recognized and appreciated; i know we don't have much time; I even set the alarm to 2030; but u leave even earlier than that; i asked if you want to check your phone; then you told me about your family gathering; i was agitated; i know your desire to meet; but if i have turn it into your priority; it creates bad conscious for me; no matter how good it feels; i will always feel i am stealing you away from what you supposed to do and be; sometimes truth may hurt and you tend not to make thing difficult but i rather you did and just tell me the truth; tell me straight that you only have one hour with me; of course i will say let's not meet; then you will insist; you really know me a bit too well to kept that hidden from me; the truth; anyway i am a big girl; i will figure it out and deal with it rather than just know that u come here for short while and leave like how I quote it as an example because you are right you want to know your worth and that you're worth it at the end of a long serving years like you other colleagues; by the time you reach their agel what would you do; where would you be; its a big quesiton mark; even for me; it is difficult to answer; but you will never have that kind of thought to shake status quo; because you don't have to and with her you said i am not the problem; then i dont know what is anymore.

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