In many cases, the more you try to compete, the less competitive you actually are.

好难捱的一个多小时；
我没有这么难过了；
心里尽想一些别的就不会特别难过了；
真的成为过去了；
事情要真的发生时往往是最难受的；
这样也好；
以后都不必再想了。

"you know damn well thats not what i mean"; "then what you mean exactly, tell me"; i sigh; "you going one big round in the end telling me all this doesnt matter, we never matter and not even i matter"; this is the first time i see her screaming, at me, she is really piss, i never thought she cares this much; "look at me, tell me again i dont matter"; "thats not what i mean, im sorry"; "i dont want to hear you say im sorry, that means you feel guilty"; i avoid eye contact with her, she comes to me, kissing me gently on my lips; "look at me, tell me again i dont matter".