Anger is a prelude to courage.

I know but I don't understand.

What is it that we need to figure it out.

I think secretly and consciously you like the idea of doing everything by yourself, on your own.

Certain things you need someone else, most things you don't.

I really can not comprehend why two people like and miss each other, can't be together. 

It it something hard to swallow.

Until I know the exact reason why,

Pls do not write me and telling me that you miss me.

You will only make me sad, very very sad.

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view.

and this is the time we need each other the most.

at least i think so.

you still write me and say you miss me.

that makes me very very sad.

i would like you to stop now.

please.

The force is within you. Force yourself.

- letting me know (you also letting all your close friends know)
- listen to what i say (you also listen to what your close friends have to say)
- make decision as a couple and reach consensus, together (this if we ARE a couple, only we can do, but are we?) having a say means i get to make the decision too.

these are 3 different things altogether.

we can argue our case to no end deciding if we are a couple or not.

if you want sincere loyal friends, like the three of your closest friends, me too, can be another.

i feel no place here, not as your girl friend (maybe you dont feel like my boyfriend too), this is what i am trying to tell you. by leaving me out and have you, yourself dealing with it all doesn't cause any ease, you are sidelining me and it creates doubt in this relationship. i cant bear to see you get hurt and sad. it makes me sad. i feel bad i cant be there for you and help you thru, this is what people do when they emotionally attach.



it will be tough, but time will heal. it always does.

The ability to concentrate and to use time well is everything.

我没有想到；

原来；

你；

已经；

改变了我。

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half sorrow.

Today last year, you thought you would've found someone that you can be with, live with, help you with, little did you know that part never comes easy.

You can buy someone, but will that be real? Will that last? Will that be love?

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.

I will always go back to those who have hurt me, because I know I don't deserve better.

The great thing in the world is not so much to seek happiness as to earn peace and self-respect.

She said this is the first time i didn't play with my phone so much all night. 

Because you didn't call.

Because you didn't text.

Because i don't have to response. 

Not anymore.

If failure is not an option, then neither is success.

i guess;
we like to tell each other;
about our small story;
every single day;
just very very small story;
that people tend to forget.

The nobler sort of man emphasizes the good qualities in others, and does not accentuate the bad. The inferior does the reverse.

It has been two days.

Feels weird in the beginning i am not able to tell you things.

Slowly.

It just takes time.

Like everything.

I love you. 

you know what.

we dont need each other, anyway.

Little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress what is evil; our great hope lies in developing what is good.

When you told me to stop the pills. I know something was up. 

Then finally i did.

Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it.

The more i meet people and the more people i met, the more i appreciate how real you are.

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.

I do not want my future and my life being control and dictate by someone I do not even give a fuck about.

If you want me to up my game, you only need to tell me how.

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

I wish you could stay. He said and that is enough. 

I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.

You said I have very good heart, smarter than you even, good quality I had. I always chose to walk away at the slightest annoyance, you always manage to ask me stay, I don't think I deserve you, you can find better, but you say it breaks your heart when I say that.

When it comes to decision all I hear is excuses, we can not move forward, you are not ready, you afraid of losing your freedom, you have your hesitation .

Why is that so. 

You are confuse.

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.

this is getting more and more uninteresting and uninspiring. 

Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.

the saddest thing of it all;
we do not even have a relationship that we can validate.

What a man is contributes much more to his happiness than what he has, or how he is regarded by others.

just be bold enough to admit certain things, rather than implying the "i dont care what you do", "i dont mind" kind of attitude which i am not interested at all besides that is also very very uninteresting, it becomes boring after a while.

when you told me we seeing each other "casually" yesterday, i had the same reaction when you said "i come to see you all the way for the sex", (well difference is i didnt cry and walk out half way sitting on you, i couldn't anyway! :P)  you maybe right but that doesn't make the fact that i really want to see you less true.

think about it.

All endings are also beginnings; we just don't know it at the time.

I forget when was the last time i leave judgement behind.

I was never good at confrontation.  In fact i never good at anything. 

All i do is hide and getting into my own kind of mode. 

People say im melodramatic, sensitive, hopeless and weak. Maybe they are right. I never really care much anyway.

So here i am. Escaping them. Escaping you.  What am i trying to achieve? I don't know.  Im not sure anymore. 

A man can be destroyed but not defeated.

That i can walk away.

That i want to please you.

That i no longer need to.

That i am just living my life.

That i am just being me.

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

i am sick and tired of always telling you that i am not good enough for you. i am good enough for myself, i am the person i want myself to be.

i will only be good enough if you think i am good enough, otherwise i will never be and will always have to change myself to accommodate you, by not being myself.

i also often confuse when you tell me that i am good enough, i have a strong character, this and that and then some but always lacking in some other, are you praising me or condemning me or simply being sarcastic?

i truly believe if you love someone, you will let them be, the best and worst version of themselves, you compromise and you love them for being who they are. this is not a defend mechanism, i am good and i know so, With you, i always have to argue my way and defend myself to find my place somehow, im getting tired of it.

no one can ask you to change your mind about me, if even yourself find me not worthy of your love. (or is there love?)

i guess what this weekend all about is that we talked about everything and nothing, you also told me that you are not ready, you have your reservation because it will take too much to lose your so called freedom, it will take too much for you to back down and it will take too much for things to change. is this the reason why she and you can never work out, because none of you will compromise each other's life and back down, both of you are too strong headed and opinionated on each other's view and can stand no one. we know a lot of things all along and yet we went round circle talking about the same old thing. this is really like a broken record. we cant move forward.

honestly, i dont know how our life is going to be, i dont even know what will happen tomorrow, one thing for sure is that, the time that i have spent with you, you brought things on the table i value, like your advice, your no bull sit attitude, excluding your sadness and some of your outlook in life which i dont necessarily agree but i can say you are a straight forward guy, you care for me like no other and i appreciate that. (maybe i dont make you feel anything, hence you dont feel i am bringing anything to the table)

i do not want you to bring yourself down to any lower level, and i dont necessary get to climb up to your level. what have i offer you thus far? is there anything you value out of me? if the answer is no then i dont understand why are you sticking around. i see a reason for me to, but i dont see yours? now after a year, dont you think it is no longer about me upping my game, it is just a matter of are we or can we accept each other of who we are. have we try hard enough to work things out to be with each other?

i dont know if there can be a black and white/ cut and dried answer to that, if there is, thing will be much more easier for both you and I.

we know nothing about love and yet only love can sustain this to make us feel alive, otherwise everything we are talking about start to feel like business proposition where we are together because we have certain value to offer, that we can use each other and that's all.

i am not apologizing for this mail being ruthless and blunt, sick of being nice to each other, maybe the truth is this kind of words need to be said so it will be out of the way and makes us re-think of this whole relationship, or was there even a relationship to begin with?