I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.

i called in sick in the  morning; you brought me to doctor; made sure i have everything i need; the number of times we thought about the same thing was quite scary; it makes me happy we think of the same thing most of the time; i have been sick the whole week; we did not see each other; finally giving in and took antibiotics; we did not manage to meet during mid week; we will have a part during weekend; we will see each other then; thought to just have dinner Friday after work; you brought your bag; i was surprise and happy; you sleep over; in my home; feel at ease; you said soemthing about not having the weight in your legs; very funny; sometimes we change plan for better convenience; other time just out of sheer benefits for each other; still laugh about the bus stop; that i saw the bus you did not step out from; the disappointment; you went home after sleep over; i did my own thing; i pick you up at the station; knowing which side i should be seated; let you drive; you gave me a card; i read that three little words and i wonder why; you said you were too shy; i asked when did you realise you want to tell me that; you said sometime back; during the party i allow you to drink more; i drove you home; happy yo spend time with you even if i dont dance; i want you to dance more; do the things you like to do; three things: we do not hurt each other; we communicate openly and we allow the other person to do things they like; we came back; lie on bed and chit chat; watch some music videos; reminiscing memories;  you kept telling me i am beautiful; that you like me; that you want to be with me; that you want me in your life; we did it twice that day; as if magic happens; you turned me on; i like it when you want me and desire me; we talk about other fantasy; openly; then go to your place; the usual coffee-breakfast-ciggie morning; you told me about work; we are in each other's world; i end up helping you with the garden under the hot sun; spent more time together; getting present for your parents; talk more in bed; on how we complete each other; on how you feel us like both hands lock together seamlessly; wien; and again sometimes feeling lost on your freckle minded moment; constant change of goal post; do not know what to expect; wonder if you really know who you are; we talked about sleeping with someone; i have becoming more curious; intrigue more than anything; on one hand i do not want you to change; on the other hand i wish you can feel more; emotionally; completely.