Friday, June 2, 2017

I have to say that although it broke my heart, I was, and still am, glad I was there.

We spend an intensive weekend together. After that incident. After taking a long weekend break. The decision was mutual. You are a very forgiving husband. You are a sex maniac. Seems that way. You pushed her to become this way. This you have no one else to blame. In the end i am no better. At least I'm single. I'm only responsible of my own doing. You feel the lack of affection with her. You try to save it. Knowing how. But not necessary doing it. You still sleep around. It hurts me. But I know I don't have any right to. I don't own you. I told you about the two guys. Comparison kicks in. You are the jealous type. So am I. We came to this weekend to share with each other more, but still not everything. We talk and rank. Never a fair thing to do. We both have ranking. You throw in jokes after jokes to cover up. I can't use joke to cope. I chose to ignore. You thought I don't care and don't want to know. Quite the opposite. I know myself too well. I know what I can handle and things I want to know. You curious why I don't ask you more. Because I can't handle the truth. At least I don't want to. And I can't joke about it. In the end. After spending time with one person for a long time, it boils down to trust and decision that you will not harm each other and that you guys still want to go on for the rest of your life. Which is how you are doing. I love you. I'm not part of your past but I hope I'm not too late to be in your future. I can let you know that much. The rest. Whatever going to happen. Will happen. In the end. Eventually. even if that means we are going to somehow part and i wish you all the happiness in the world; truly for you. 

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