Wednesday, June 28, 2017

I don’t wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.

we spoke again; our usual AM/PM 30 min chat; after an unexpected weekend; people come and go; we have to remember that; even you; we back in the topic how long it will last before we run out of things to say; we say we can still last for a while; i am your therapist sort of; as you are mine; you used to want to find out more about someone; at the initial stage; that is very usual; you and i we started with a different kind of format and it has stuck ever since; we do not know how to do it otherwise; we can talk about every little things; mainly sex; also on and off i update you about my trip with him; sometimes once you have missed out something of a day you will not mention  it anymore until after; you want to talk more like this with other too; with her; with your family; i am not sure how you guys started; i don't want to interfere; maybe we spend 25 years together we will become like this too; i found out you look down on people; giving order; maybe unintentional; you never do it with me; i wonder why; i know why; because we don't get to spend long time together; maybe i acting too much you are acting with me too; because we want to show off our best self in front of each other; a lot of maybes; no answer; somehow i feel you tend to be more superior dealing with people that is less intelligent than you; even her; you feel her know so little; who can blame her; maybe a household makes her so; maybe you make her so; maybe she wish she can be independent too; you are wrong; often time i portrait myself too strong you do not know that; at some point i feel tired too; i just want to at the end of the day crash in someone arms and hear him say; everything will be ok; but now in the end i only have myself and that is all.

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