I’m so lonesome for you.

I have written the same story too many times. We talk about my hope, dream, things that I could've achieved. You pushing me to go for it. Grab that opportunity. I reluctantly say i refuse. You asked me why. I couldn't explain it. But you know why? Because.......

I couldn't explain to you why this is something I can do but I don't want.
I couldn't explain to you that no matter how many times you said you love me but in the end you won't be here.
I couldn't explain to you that in the end I will just be on my own.
I couldn't explain to you that this loneliness I feel inside.
I couldn't explain to you that I'm pretending everything will be just fine.
I couldn't explain to you that the hurt and pain I feel inside.
I couldn't explain to you that the rejection that I'm trying to avoid.
I couldn't explain to you the expectations that I try not to set.
I just couldn't explain to you all that.
How could I?
Because in the end I know you will not be mine;
Because eventually everyone leaves;
Because you are just like everyone else;
Because in the end I will still have to face it by myself on my own;
Because in the end.