Monday, March 7, 2016

I’m sorry because you shouldn’t have to be everything to me. I had you, but I’d forgotten that I had myself too. It’s a new feeling, something I’m getting used to.

i was walking out from my brother's place; my phone was on silent; i saw it rang; i picked up and a date was set; another gig; i have not been to one for a while now; wrong exit; endless apologizing; RM20 parking; RM20 dessert; ended the night late; the unsettling emotion kicked in; sat in my car; in wee hours; we talked about things; that have been long bothering you and i; yet will never have a solution; me and you; you and her; you and another her; me and him; you said you love me; that i am part of you now; how often you feel something is missing without me being around; i have became something of important; little little things; spider web of relationships tangling; how can i not acknowledge it; how can i pretend to ignore it; the simple fact that i cant; while happy to be with you; while my heart will never say no; to anything you have asked for; in return i never ask for anything; the question of default or design; why does it matter; i will only do this if you are my someone; because a sense of belonging; i hate to drift; i dont want to feel like that i dont belong to anyone; i want to belong to you; i desperately want to.

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