Friday, January 22, 2016

I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way.

it's 10:00am; you helped me pull and tidy up the bedsheet; it's quite all over the place; you had a shower after me; still we are on our bed and have so much things and emotions to share; randomly about religious women; illegally sleeping; snooping around; getting caught; you mentioning we are married or engaged as if everything is real; we tend to compare; i said he is taller than you; then you say some other size measurement; it's not fair; even with race; we cant compare; maybe handwriting; then you said i was using your weakness against you; but i didnt; i thought it was just too cute not to mention it; i cried again feeling sad you are going to leave; you didnt say when because you dont know it yet; soon you say; but why does it matter; as long as this is the price you are willing to pay; that you willing to settle; even there's a possibility there's a better me out there; that's why we settle; that's why we are here now; never ever think twice; as we both tease about each other sexually; that you are a decent man; that i avoid you being vulgar after the session; what are we suppressing about; that you need me and think about me all the time; the word "always" become so strong and i always go against people that say thing and then cant deliver; i hate that; you want me; i ask you not to leave me; i beg you not to go; eventually you have to; i know that; you say you want to bring me there; but i do not want an empty promise; even jokingly; i hate them; you will not leave her; because that is not you; and you are not unhappy; but why is this happening; so im thinking what are we doing here; but i just cant helped it because i fall for you too much and too strong to pull away; when you lick me ever so gently; i totally surrender right there; right there at that exact moment; if everything happen and i rewind it; i see you undress just to get comfortable; we had yogurts on the bed; and how i realise you open the lid of the yogurt for me even though i didnt ask you to when i ready to grab the other one and you told me that one was for me; in my head i was just too myself to actually realise that someone who into you actually will do things for you even without you asking them to; that i know you wanted to; effortlessly willing to; and i want to do the same thing to you because of the energy when im being around you; the love that i always feel when you hold me tight in your arms; we had coffee in the bed and then i see you showing up at my door at 7 o'clock in the morning and you say it;s a tiny mini little bit of surprise; you even tell me that i look good all the time; even though you promise only to come to me at 7.30 am in the morning.......and that really makes my days; it really does.

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