I don’t know, maybe I just wanted to be alone. Maybe I just didn’t want to be social because antisocial people have a whole lot less to lose.

I don't mean i love you differently as in not loving you 100%. It's just that I'm simply fall in love with a married man. That's the short answer.


The long answer would be, the difference is i can't announce my love to you in public, we can't hold hand anywhere we like, i can't introduce you as my boyfriend..... And all the other thing you can think of normal couple can do.

I know i make it sounds sad and negative but it is also the truth because we can't lie to ourselves with this love that we have for each other which we always want more and at the same time with inevitable sadness, also because this is not something right. But we can't stop emotion right? Love is after all love.

But we are in no wrong or right at this, again we are two grown-ups just so happen to meet each other now at this point of our lives and magically developing this relationship.

It's the choice that we make. I read this line the other day: if your relationship has to remain a secret, you should not be in it. At first I feel down, but after that i thought about it, i am feeling such joy together with you which is nothing i feel with anyone ever before, does it matter now if it's a secret? Maybe it will matter later but definitely not right now.

Right now i just want to spend as much time with you as i can.

Am i crazy? Or am i making sense? Or you will agree with me because you are with me and biased with whatever I'm saying? I don't know which is which anymore.