Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Every wall is a door.

you had me again at starbucks; we are sharing more; your wife reaction; the betrayal; the lies; the unsettling feeling that we might get caught; the worrisome nights wondering about how to split time; about being unfair; about responsibilities; about commitment; the wish and desire to see you and spend time with you overpowering all the sad part; i just want to be with you; i need you; that's all it takes; saturday was too short; we already plan for another meeting; i only have time thursday; your mother will be in town; the gap is too long; tuesday lunch; finally we nailed it; such temptation; we texting continuously; we had a great time on a long sofa; lunch and chit chatting as if the world is only the two of us; hoping that time will stop right here right now; i share more; my work; my joy; my excitement; what i heard on the news; further discussion; faking sick leave just to chase every single second that i will be able to spend with you; i like your metaphor of chocolate; we have not enough of it; so additive; you dropped the receipt; the silly game; i dont even care if i lost; it's the joy of playing and fooling around with each other; holding your hands secretly say i love you and thinking that you are mine; we have to ask; otherwise we wont tell; thats what we set up from the beginning; i also realise that; once we are doing this; there is no turning back; how can you even make me a commitment where there is nothing for you to give; how can that be; happiness seems so right; i want here; now; i will demand for more; eventually; and you will soon and finally realise i am just another greedy bastard; uninteresting soul; then in the end; let go of me for good; forever. 

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