Can I say something? I don't know it enough to give u advice, one hand I hear u r struggling with something u can't tell me about now, on the other hand about ur gf which I really don't know much about, to be fair I don't know both side of the story to comment, but i know people say what they say for a reason, sometimes saddening and upsetting thing but still they don't say it with no good reasons.
So I guess the best thing for u to do is to focus in task at hand and remember what u guys fighting for, longing for, do ur best and what u need to save this relationship if this is worth fighting for, then u can at least say u hv done all u can and ur best, no regret even after that u guys decided to walk away or be together. That much I know. :)
I wish you all the best for this trip.
So ya that's all I want to say so that I don't have to send u an email afterwards.