If you google "different phase of love", you will get a lot of reference, that i dont need to tell you. im sure as hell it wont take you long to find out the different phase based on your experience.
"why am i being so nice?"; "why am i still entertaining you without feeling piss off at all"? etc, you wonder. i guess because this is the very initial phase where you testing the water, be kind of careful in what you want to say, trying to figure out what one likes, what one dislikes - whether saying certain things is ok? how would the other person react? you stay polite and well mannered coz you kind of like that person, etc etc.
when you were young you have your whole life ahead of you for these different stages, you can afford to take longer time to know someone, etc i dont mean to say we shouldn't still take long time to know someone, which we should, because how can you know someone immediately, right? just like if you interview a candidate within an hour, how can you possibly know he is the best fit for the job, right? you dont; but of course the skill of reading people, observing them within that short period of time give you a rough idea whether you should or should not hire them.
with the different phase of love are the same, now we cut off about 10-20 years time for that process coz we both know how old we are, so we based on our experience, the questions, the emails we wrote, the chat we had to gather information & basically get to know each other better.
of course this is an academic experience, this may even be a social experience: can two people drive each other mad with mails and phone calls without actually start to like each other? you know where im getting at........
i like you, i am not even denying that, i told you over that first phone call i made (still regret it), remember? but you have to admit all these questions of how come i still like you? how come i still talking to you? how come im not piss at you like how the other Caucasian women? how come this? how come that? i think you have a very good idea how come, you just want to hear it from me, smart ass!
then the question of how do we do this together, if you are not realising we are already doing it together, in a way, the emails are real, the chats are real, the meeting also is going to be real, that's as real as you can get, but then what will happen after: say after we meet, we REALLY like each other - will any of us quit jobs? relocate? quit studies? i highly doubt that's gonna happen at this very point in time, because nobody can freaking tell anyway, no one can predict future, so i dont know whats gonna happen, its too soon to tell, stop asking!!!! but if you want to plan and put down the paper to calculate the probability how is this going to fail, please go ahead, im not stopping you! haha.
for all i know we might just quit this coz if we start to think none of this is real then it probably gets a bit easier, or we can just fool ourselves during the meeting that we really dont like each other (or maybe we REALLY will not like each other), and what is the point if you are not buying any of this anyway right - to you no matter what we do, a few more years down everything will fade, no one can survive a relationship, because of your fear in seeing it disappear, because you never been able to build up one that last, etc etc
B, i am just as scare as you if not more, see how easy i quit? i actually called and asked to stop, because i want to already pull the plug before i even go down too deep, i see something good might come out of this but what did i do? i run the other way, the total opposite way. you are whole lot stronger than me, i chicken out! but then i think maybe we deserve it, i mean not to be together but at least to be happy. if doing this makes you and i happy, why should we stop? so now i dont, i carry on and curious to see what might happen.
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