The best way I can love you is by not losing myself in you, but growing with you.

She is not around again;
you just reached home;
settle down, shower, you called, we chat;
i cried again;
feel sad;
but i made you more happy;
but maybe i make you more sad;
i will not know;
i can not guess;
i do not want to ask you hard question;
about what you would say to her;
about how you are with her;
then about the trip;
far and yet so close trip;
you have found a trip where we both do not need to travel so long;
i am flattered by your thoughts and invite;
i hesitated and finally decide to refuse for the right reason;
both you and i know it this is the right decision;
there is just too much at stake even though we do not talk about it;
you don't need to think anymore about the trip;
don't feel bad or anything;
sometimes someone in this kind of situation needs to make a call;
even if it's not a call I would want to make.

Thank you for the so many things and so many thoughts you have had for me and done for me;
for this i truly feel loved.