Monday, February 13, 2017

It has made me better, loving you.

we did it again;
had a short weekend of great time;
you said stupid things that made me cried;
i have learnt that i am such a inexperience little girl with you;
we had some stupid argument;
i do not want to become her;
i asked you if you know why i am really upset;
you said you rather me settle down until i am less emotional;
i do not want you to guess;
i am not into game;
it is ok for you to say no;
you had me guessing;
you are also the one that like to be offer and ask sometimes;
you do not like to feel in debt;
that you are depending on someone else for happiness;
you do not like it because you think of it as a service;
and you need to give something in return;
i wont mind if you take a sip from whatever i am having;
i am more than happy to share;
but i will also not say it;
to avoid rejection and disappointment;
we told each other;
we will ask if we want it;
i asked you about our best memory;
it was our second night together;
whenever i am with you i do not want to hear about anyone else;
i cried numerous time;
you say you will find other if you re not with me;
plain sex and desire in between dishonesty;
we talked openly about so many things;
sex; first kiss; moral; being human; life;
we talked about how i have to deal with things myself where you have somewhere you belong and go back to;
you said i have it too but this is something you will never understand but you allow me to do it by myself the most comfortable way i want to;
i am afraid to expose my vulnerability to be bare naked in front of you to have no where to turn nothing i can go back to to fall back on;
at least now i have myself i still have a wall;
we do not know what will happen in 5 years;
you know it does not take any more hot stuff to excite you;
i am somewhere you escape to and so as you to me;
we excited about a secret get together to be away;
we are our little getaway for each other;
a run out of our routine;
i was silly enough to think that we would sit for a few stops but then we had to part;
once more train;
i insisted;
i am so afraid to lose you;
i do not think i can accept it;
you are too egoistic to let me go;
"do you want to still see us?"
yes - and that is all you needed to say;
you had me;
you always do;
have you thought about how to spend this short weekend with me before we meet;
no, but i always know that it will be easy with you;
because i cant be and i do not want to be another exact copy of someone to you;
we both have our own agenda;
to stay on;
to want to stay on;
so we did.

No comments: