Being both soft and strong is a combination very few have mastered.

i slotted in a bit of time; asked him if he would do something for me; meet me after work; we did; both willingly; playfully arrived and always want to compete with each other; i fall for him so much that i ignore the world around me that i thought something indecent that i did would be alright; i become less sensitive and less considerate; an incident  that happened; different thoughts running in our head caused different reaction; we are not living in a free world after-all; nevertheless all these moments i deeply treasure; with shame and guilt; but feeling is feeling; i justify that to myself shamelessly.

there is this other him; been around for ten years; asked me about how i feel about him years ago; i felt the attraction which faded along the way; i will always wonder; why not me? why we cant be? too many what if; useless pointless what ifs.