here comes the emotional moments; again; i never thought there will even be this kind of feelings again in me; with you came into my life; two people being with each other developing and creating memories so quickly in a month's time; leaving some details behind yet revealing on small things; it seems unreal; you can't offer me clarity, security and stability; and yet i am so happy being with you; can happiness be the ultimate answer? that i do not need to care; that i should continue on anyway even if it's unfair; what is life? what is happiness? if i have been searching for so long and i am yearning for the answer that i finally feel this wee bit of happiness in my life; do i reach out and grab it even if it's not mine in the long run and that i dont deserve it?
i thought i am just a fling; if you didn't tell her; i would still be comfortable; but you couldn't lied and i understand why; if you are hiding from someone you love; imaging other kind of damage that you could possibly cause and do; i am nobody to you anyway; like is a like; nothing more at this point.
i do not know.
i am lost i guess.
but in this moment in my life.
the trip; the love making; the shouting; the yelling; the silly questions; how we handling things; the coffee; the muesli; the milk; the alcohol; the sausages; the touching; the hugging; the cuddling; even without sex; with you; everything feels incredibly nice.
i like the way we are. i like you, too much. im always your nice girl, your best food and your little bastard.
until soon. or not soon.