Thank you for your apology SMS.
What is our fears that we share together?
let me share mine.
My fear is we are always in this circle, no matter how hard we try, we end up pissing up each other, using too much energy to argue which gets us no where.
I don't know how to put it in a way that you will take it as I am not preaching or teaching you how to live or what to do. All I'm trying to say is I can't live a life where I am afraid every 5 seconds worrying what you are going to say, what old stuff you are going to bring up to punish me and that you are constantly thinking of what to say to get me back, judging me, it will eventually drain us. We will get tired of each other.
W, I'm not someone that remembers everything, even with our fiercest argument, I'll probably apologize (even with a black face) and sincerely move on, not bringing it up evert time , taking it as a lesson learnt, by not repeating the same mistake.
If we are together, normally we just hug it out. Hugging seems to solve things a lot, but it can only solve so much, we have to genuinely admit our mistakes, mean what we say and REALLY move on.
I'm not lecturing you, this is my way to do it and I would tell you whether you accept or do it or not it's entirely up to you. If our ways are very conflicting with each other, we will not last, not in the long run.
At the end of the day, when we find out we have more and more dissimilarities, that is also the time we reconsider if we want to be together.
Sometime I feel very very hopeful for us, sometimes I don't, it's really fluctuates. that's the truth and that's the fear.
My hope is that we can live with each other. In between that and now, we have a lot of REAL talking to do. For now I can only tell you my daily life as how exactly as it right now, everyday.