To aim at the best and to remain essentially ourselves is one and the same thing.

in the different stages of my life, all the broken non-fruitful relationships aside, there was two times in my life that i feel really down and to the extend that i question the meaning of life with one time almost couldn't find the strength to go on. im not here to ask for pity and sympathy, just merely telling you about me. there was a time in my life when i was really suicidal, after the couple of years of my first long term relationship, im very down, depressed and i keep on spending unnecessarily, the credit card debt is the one thing that stop me thinking about suicide.

then it comes a very depressing time in my work where i literally hate my boss even though i love my job, that last for about two years with the thought  of moving back to my little hometown, but things turn around when i took more control of my work, excel in every way possible where my boss cant have a say, then i end up here until now

my grandma passing away also affect me greatly, it happened in front of my eyes and that wasnt really something you want to remember but you have to and just have to deal with it. i didn't cry, not on the day, not on the funeral, not a single tear drop shed.