The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going.

there's a sudden urge to write you, just like how i used to write you before, mails that contained all my silly thoughts. i was young, naive and thought i was in love with you then. time moves things and changes people, including our feelings.

you were asking me how old i am last night and can you believe how time flies. i was 28 or 29 when i first met you, now im 34. i might not look like it but definitely feel like it.

i wont denied the feeling that i once felt for you which turning into a different form now that stays between us. i often wonder what it would be like if we really take that step and walk out from each other's life, not being friends. we'll probably be miserable for a while and then life goes on....anyway, we are way passed that point to turn back now after our numerous encounters.

clearly we both know well what have we gotten ourselves into, still i cant helped this emptiness that i feel everytime when i walk out from your front door. i repress my desire to express such feeling to you because im afraid to face the reaction that you could have and would have.

i always over think things, i still do.

you probably couldn't tell, i was extremely thrill and delighted when you asked me to tag along your plan, although i might act cool and casual at that time, so silly i know. all the conversations and the little arguments that we have had only drawing me closer to you somehow and makes me realize this precious relationship that we are having and for me wish to continue to have.

in my head i know there is this barrier between us that we are so scare of crossing, coz i know for a fact  that at times we are not being totally honest with each other. both being private, discreet and secretive as we are, or perhaps we just fear of losing if we reveal too much.

at the end of the day, even if i might sound too self protective and selfish, that is just because of one simple reason, which im pretty sure you know clearly as i am what the reason is.

so let's cut the crap and bullshit for you have to admit i am never and will never be your first priority anyway.