Everyone you idolize wakes up scared to be themselves sometimes.

i bought you nuts and wine; I'm bad at gift; i do not really know what you like; i rather get you something you will use; there is still a lot of things i do not know about you; I'm at your home; on time; you greet me; we talk; listen to music; you gave me a tour of the house; the house is very muji; very you; we talked about tattoo; you said you want to get one too; you changed your mind; now you are reconsidering it again; because i am here; i said you do not have to change your plan because of me; i feel such a sweet feeling; that someone is here for me; caring for me; want to do things for me; which i thought i have lost this feeling for the longest time; i remained skeptical; not letting anything jump into my head too quiet; i am just too level headed; sensible; pragmatic; practical and pessimistic altogether; i asked you what you would do differently if you can have a new relationship all over again; you said more sharing and open communication; i agreed; we have some values that we shared like punctuality; certainty; clarity and i hope we will have much more match; i appreciate that you showed me the 17 items that are important to you; based on ranking and achievement; you said you want to move up "love one" under family two; the difference is family is the one you are already in; family 2 is someone you are going to get; you told me about deleted the app; asking me hypothetical question how do we spend time together as married couple; we smoke; we say sorry a lot; we want to make each other comfortable; we cook pasta; have soup together; the kitchen needed some feminine touch; we talk about you visit my hometown; if we ever be together; the things we would do; photos; your friends; you told a friend about me and i told a friend about you; i do not want to jump the gun; i am not even feeling anxious; nervous and afraid; i am just going along with a good flow; your life has been somewhat stabilize after you met me; you still nervous about getting a permanent job; that will come eventually; you kept saying thank you that i am here; that i am with you; that you feel so good around me; the way you talk calms me and i tend to talk slower as well; i like how you want to hold my hand when i sit across the table; how you remove the small pot of plant; how you hold me and lean onto me when you sat on my left side; how you hold my hands when we are watching videos; how we made fun of each other; about the music we dislike; you into dancing i don't; i wonder can this last long; even when we are old and wrinkly; i made fun of you saying that you should list it down n your profile - girl that can sleeps in a room with no fan; and many minor things that we sort of talk about; we made some silly and fun jokes; i even like how we were awake and make small talk in the middle of the night; i asked about your burping and when you say you want to spend time with me is it because of your loneliness; in your room; under the air cond; you move the bed for me; i asked you if you always this attentive; you say you think so; i wish you will stay like this to me and with me; always; and i mean always :)