Shut your eyes to everything else and do not let yourself be disturbed by people.

we are back to our daily routine after two weeks of close conversation;
the 30min conversation becomes shorter and shorter than we expected;
we had so many things to talk about that need more than 30 minutes;
over the long weekend;
you were sharing that you proud of yourself of the jog;
of the new weird people you met;
of your girl;
the car description of testing and getting;
makes you laugh;
to you i always putting things bluntly;
no filter;
sometimes i make it sound more harsh that it should be;
that is reality to me;
sometimes i think you try to sugarcoat the truth;
just tiny little bit;
fuck around and swinging;
it's the same thing;
to me;
then we go on more;
of your personal stuff;
of feeling;
of emotions;
that we could not spend monger time together;
i have much to share;
places we have been;
experience that we have had;
many beautiful memories;
things that make me sad;
moment that we could've parted;
how i have been mislead to believe that there could be something more for us;
you need the validation;
i did not;
i still hesitate;
reluctant to open up more;
thanks to all my bloody wall;
it does not diminish;
given enough time the wall will be back;
slowly;
and you need to tear it down again;
i am not sure if you realise;
i wish we have more bad one that will crush us both;
we still often find way to make it better; somehow;
we still holding on to each other; to comfort us both;
talking about impossibility;
do not lose me?
who am i kidding?
we never own each other;
i cant share my hurt; pain; sadness and disappointment;
i just have to lick my own wounds in the end;
no matter what;
how would she feel;
nobody cares;
at least not me;
why should i?
she can run back to you;
i could not;
that is the difference;
there's no right, wrong, black, white;
it is just how it is;
you make a decision;
you go with it;
make it the most;
or suffer;
depends on how you take it;
the closeness;
the intimacy;
the fire;
the passion around us both;
cant be turn off so easily;
do not know what is going on your mind;
in a way we carry out conversation like how we used to;
i wish i can tell more people about you;
as so would you;
because the feeling of being in love and when you feel very happy;
it is just something you wish you can share more.