We read frequently if unknowingly, in quest of a mind more original than our own.

It's been a month; Deep down inside we know that feeling; We've been missing each other so much; U text me so we went out for dinner; Had burger; U telling story about ur trip and how u r making progress with ur girl. also about some lousy movie; you haven't changed one bit; I'm happy for u; I also was telling u how I sort of seeing someone then I don't know if you are happy for me; U wanted to know all; But as usual we made up for old time for the month we didn't see each other; U miss me so so much when there's time u can't stop thinking about me n u want me; U r dependent to me so much; I hope that's a good thing; We r adult enuff to know what we r doing and u told me there's nothing wrong to make love to someone u r really into even if it's two of them; i used to think it's wrong but now i agree; not anymore; all of this because you said: you are my drug.

there are still so many helper and kindness in this world, so so so many.

I feel like a lot of people have this impression that you have to spend your twenties fucking up and spending your time on people you don’t care about and making weird gambles with your heart just to have stories to tell, and I can’t relate to that. I can’t deal with that mentality. So if I’m single for a long time, I’m single for a long time. But fuck, man. I want to be honored to be in the room with a dude, ya know? I want to feel privileged to have that person laugh at my joke and poke holes in my arguments and spend their weekend afternoon with me, and if that means lamping and spending time with my friends and getting really good at being my best self, then fine. Fuck it. At the end of the day I’d rather have done a really good job at that than at taking a million desperate swings at shitty pitches just because the thought of being alone terrifies me so much.

source

For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes.

17042013； 19:41； 电话响起；是为你特设的铃声；在做什吃了吗？唔，正在吃；这个时候其实没想到你会打来；对啊其实想起你再看看钟都已经几点钟了你当然在吃我在忙都忘了时间；你在解释着；我没在意其实有时候你更迟打给我我还是愿意出来的；就是从未拒绝过你；吃完饭干嘛；没干嘛；来我这吧；好，买酒就过来；唔，待会儿见；我听你笑着说；习惯了就是这样就没有再怎么样了；一切如常；你要是开始见着别人我也是不会怪你的；完事后陪你去吃快餐说着说那的扯上了重复的音乐；过后就回了你一封电邮；然后就突然记起我以前写过的一句话：people hate the same thing but they get comfortable with routine…..and im deeply addicted with this routine of being with you, deeply.

The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.

U r not so simple;  did you meant to say I am difficult or hard to deal with. It seems to you im not as simple a thinker,  there's something more than that from me;  which is hard for you to figure.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

i really love my parents; this is me talking now; as of this moment; right after i put down the phone with my mum; 14042013; 10:10, i really do and i mean it.

We are not living in a movie

We're not even living in a lousy reality show.

Entertainment has seduced us into believing that we have a chance to live the life they live in the movies. Even the people in the movies don't live that life.

It doesn't take 135 minutes to make a life, it takes almost a century.

Everything doesn't depend on what happens in the next ninety seconds. Ever.

The people around us don't live secret lives. Spaceships and evil cowboys and pathogens aren't going to upend the world tomorrow, either.

Life is actually far better than it is in the movies. And it takes longer.

source

They leave me and I love them more.

"I’m not fine as in fine, but fine as in you don’t have to worry about me."
- Dr. Gregory House  (via natashakills)

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.

"Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes."

source

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real

I miss u lots every time we see each other and after, I always think how u make me laugh. :D
Then three weeks no news from u makes me not miss you coz I thought maybe u forget us. :(
Afterwards now the missing feeling comes back again. :)
So pls tell me what should we do so we will keep on missing each other? :-/

No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded.

又怎么着；又是那一招；晚了你来电；吃个饭吧；下着雨；乱乱随便地吃了些马来煮炒；买了酒给你；就像是这个以后都成为了我的工作一样；我不打紧；我也没有很紧张；和你看了两本你的旧相簿；因为看见在桌上；我问；你没有反对；你为我说着每一张照片你几岁；我没太在意；你说有时看着照片里的你不像自己；我说现在老多了；你有时也想太多了吧也可能是你的年龄；有些是你不愿提起的大多数是旧女友的照片；有多少个也不愿说；应该有过很多但干我什么事呢；还有看到你的良师- Vicenzo； 也有想念他了其实；不过真的想和你去somewhere but dont know where；我没有提因为你也没有；然后我们聊着别的那件事像是在聊着一个science experiment；不如就试试因为我们亦不明白到底是什么原因；最后你还是就做了就试了；就这样；然后你对我说；lemme know; 我假装没有听见。

You make it hard for me to turn you away and that is so unfair;

No matter how far you travel or how much you run from it, can you ever really escape your past?

I could talk all day long about the news, givin' you the current affairs or my views.
I could talk all night long about a song, givin' you the pointers on where you're goin' wrong.
I could talk all year long about the net, sendin' you the links I think you haven't seen yet.
I'd like to tell you things that I think you've never heard but there are no words.

I could talk all day long about dreams, sewing up your heart so you never see a seam.
I could talk all day about politics, all of the corruption, clean hands, dirty tricks.

But what can I say about something that blows me away without it soundin' like another cliché?
From what I've seen and I've heard, when it comes to you, baby no, there are no, there are no words.
There are no words.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you.

I could talk all day long about life, after so many wars how we're all still alive.
I could speak all night long about the world, how it took me thirty years just to find one girl.
I could shoot shit for days all about guitars, a Gibson or a Fender, it depends on who you are.
But when I try to say somethin' that you never heard, there are no words.

I could burn your ear off all about space and why we have a moon, why the moon has a face.
If the earth is spinnin' why we all stay in place
Why we can't walk walk, it's gotta be a space race.

But what can I say that’s gonna blow her mind away?
Gotta write a classic not a throwaway.
All I’ve seen, all I’ve heard, when it comes to you there are no, there are no, there are no words.
There are no words.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world to describe you.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you.

There are no words to describe or define what’s inside you, your feeling, your vibe
Believe me I’ve tried to break you down to a science
See you in my mind and I open my mouth and it’s silence
I can articulate a Shakespeare poem
Even though know I didn’t know him I can see where he was goin’
And where he’s comin’ from I can even catch his flow and then I think of you
I don’t know where this metaphor is goin’
Cuz there ain’t no words you can understand, only lovers can
You can ask the professor and the madman
If they couldn’t find the words, no one can
All I’ve seen, all I heard
When it comes to you there’s just no, just no words

Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you
That describes you.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you.
There ain’t no
There ain’t no

Abundance is, in large part, an attitude.

do me a favor this morning.
draw the curtain and come back to bed.
forget the coffee.
we'll pretend we're in a foreign country, and in love.


~   “The Road” by Raymond Carver, from Where Water Comes Together With Other Water

prolific...........it seems.

It has been so long but I haven’t changed
I have been loving you for six long years
You better be prepare
I’m not planning to stop this at all
You can say im unambitious
Or that I have nothing better to do
How precious it is to have someone you could love
I don’t mind if you are not giving me a chance
I have my whole life to waste anyway
I have this little bit of stubbornness in me
That’s my biggest advantage
It’s alright you don’t need to feel bad
Perhaps I just like to be wasted by you
I don’t care who you will keep on loving today
I will just accept it as it is
Im fine to waste another 10 years with you
You and him didn’t work out
Broke up after six short month
My love didn’t change
Im impressed by me
I have too much resources
I have too much time
It’s a waste if I don’t love
I don’t mind if you are not giving me a chance
I have my whole life to waste anyway
I have this little bit of stubbornness in me
That’s my biggest advantage
It’s alright you don’t need to feel bad
Perhaps I just like to be wasted by you
Even if I work really hard to fall for someone
In the end will be a waste
Might as well be happier drag along with you
Right?

We each have all the time there is; our mental and moral status is determined by what we do with it.

和他第五次见面; 是他先说要见我; 有一点意外; 我都对彼此有好感不然不会迫不急待想要见到对方; 和他没这没那的聊了一堆; 就没有再提起他家里的事; 我们都很清楚以后都不会再提起了; 何必呢? 都是成年人了知道该说什么问什么; 分寸的拿捏; 没有什么好为难的了; 这些是我们不要说都知道的。

Do not be afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

几个月后的今天我们才再见面,在那间我们常去咖啡厅,你黑咖啡我绿茶,你问我为什么没有再喝咖啡了,然后我只是说不再喜欢了。
再来聊起我们之前提过去旅行的事,你说为什么不提醒你,何必自讨苦吃呢,明明已经知道你忙了,在要去之前我还在装,庆幸我没有问, 你说你很忙,朋友会来,几把在一个月内要完成的bass,24到25你将离开一个月,那你还想我说什么呢?放弃吗?不再理你吗?为什么要这样笨这样坚持这样傻,有用吗?值得吗?

Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.

26032013; 我一早就传了简信给你； 整整一天了；你没回；想你应该是很忙了；傍晚8时许；你传简信我没回你来电就相约吃饭；其实真的是有想念你了；见了你才知道原来你今天倒霉透了；我笑笑；你累了；我从你眼里看得见；遗忘了锁匙；弄错了低音吉他；这个那个的让你忙了一整天累坏了；我说这样我们不用见啊；那你可以在家好好休息；你却说今天已经糟透了能见到你会是今天最好的事；我还为我们拿不定要吃什么而争吵了十分钟有一点儿纳闷；可你也还是在乎的；然后就在聊聊我聊聊你；我没有很忙；我没有问起我们是不是真的去旅行；我说我最近常常看新闻；我有的没的问起一些他国的经济状况；你耸耸肩有一搭没一搭的；我讲讲大选没有太在意；然后说起吉隆坡生活水准真的是越来高；你说和美国某一个州比起便宜百倍；but there's no kiddo there; 其实我第一遍就已经听见了；但是我在装； huh? 什么；然后你又没好气的说了两遍；应该是有意思的吧；不然就骗骗我讨我开心吧；我真的是很容易满足的；而你一直在说的就是很想我而已；我想那已经够了；够了。

Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.

20032013; 1930； 交通阻塞让我想推去这个约；庆幸没有；第四次见面；TGIF； 两份餐都没能将食物吃完；以后我们得叫一份一起吃； 我有一些犹豫；顾虑； 焦虑； 他一眼即看出来了；有什么坦白说；不要浪费时间；我心里面在想你已经是第几个我在一起的已婚男人了；他们都和我很有感觉彼此承诺过渡过了一些时光；他又是一个已婚男人这一点我确实很在意。

但他只一句 - 和我在一起开心吗？

开心。

这样；就够了；因为我清楚知道什么是我在乎的。

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.

you cannot do this kind of thing;
you cannot let me hanging;
but you did.

But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.

Stick with the program;
I hate the program;
Me too but that's something we have to do;
U miss me again u said;
Doing that thing I normally don't allow u to do;
But u feel like it with me and u only doing it to me;
We went out, had beers;
isn't life the same at the end?
People get so sick with routine but they end up doing things they normally do anyway.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

我和你见了才两次面；
第一次咖啡；
第二次电影；
你的风趣让我对你有一些好感；
说好不要再如此轻易地坠入任何一个象这样的陷阱；
但我就是那么脆弱那么容易动摇的人；
再一次见面我们吻了对方；
我没有对你很坦白；
而我却咄咄逼人的想要知道你的更多；
然后你问我为什么；
有很重要吗我说；
当然，你认真地回答着；
我们才认识一个星期而已啊；
那好你说就当我们认识了六个月好吗？
这怎么能当呢？
其实我没有对你说出一切
我是很清楚知道的；
因为如果我还是象以往一样奋不顾身的栽在一个人的手里；
我会很伤很伤；
而你亦没有向我确实认定我们之间的关系；
在这发生之前我想我们还是好好去过着彼此的生活吧；
往后的事就先等往后再说好了；
所以我为自己留了一点余地；
那条一如往常我最终会选择的后路。