Man is happy only as he finds work worth doing -- and does it well.

I guess what you don't realise is you have caused all these commotions.

You did it.  Not me.

To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.

you say you are coming back; that we were good; i dont feel that at all; how odd; i just feel unusually calm; simply because i hide and dodge; because the more i say and explain the more it seems like an excuse;  it is indeed revealing; so now you know who and how i am; that i am not worth your time; that you are chasing after an empty dream; i hope the time and energy that you have invested in building something better lasted even after i am not there to share it; if not for anyone that do it for yourself which you should anyway; i never meant to share your glory anyway; i am not qualified; i am a coward; i am infamous in blocking; to that you should not be surprise at all; i am not saying i am right; i mean just to prove my point anyway; i just a useless bitch; drama queen; just to prove everyone will eventually walk away from; as i do this to myself.

I like a person who knows his own mind and sticks to it; who sees at once what, in given circumstances, is to be done, and does it.

You thought there was this nice and simple person, in front of you, all this while. I have issues, in the end i just have to let you know that;

you found the courage and readiness to drop me a bomb; you told me that you like me; within a short frame of almost two months you said you are falling in love with me; when i clearly know that you dont even know me yet;

how can i trust you and believe that is true;

i just have to drop that same kind of bomb on you too;

i dont feel the same feeling that you feel for me; i dont feel good and i dont feel special;

i really dont;

i can not lie;

and i dont even feel sorry about it;

that a clear sign that - i really have issues!

To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life.

you don't stimulate me; intellectually. 

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

I realise being with you was the single happiest time of my life, even if i don't know the reason why.

The past cannot be changed. The future is still in your power

I just keep on coming back to you, what do i do?

Do what you can where you are with what you've got.

Because even without the feeling of guilt, I wasn't happy. Then i know it is not you, but me.

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.

been so long; feeling stays the same; beer; light dinner; chit chatting; updating; goes back to the very beginning; arrived at your home; watched a movie; staring at each other; familiar yet strange; de javu; it was beautifully strange; i just thought you are a very private person and needed the alone time; he added it is time like this that i need you around me; not anyone else; from then i understand; our friendship stays.

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.

i remember her name is Wan Yee;
and that she is special;
i fell into the trap that i automatically treat her so politely and well;
just because she is special
deep down i  know that is the last thing she would want me to do;
to treat her special;
because like everybody else;
she just want to be treated;
like how i treat everyone else.

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.

I just want to be able to tell you things without sugarcoat it, I must be able to let you know how I feel. If I don't feel alright I will say so, I won't pretend everything is alright and just sit there. I tried that but that is just not how I want to be.

At times, when we get to meet each other, being with each other physically, talking becomes less of a thing, even though we don't talk much, we get to enjoy each other's company, watch a movie, read a book, have a meal, we are being with each other closely and we can reach out. 

When we far away and we don't talk about this, tell each other how we feel, I feel such a gap that quickly widen and I feel us both slowly drifting apart everytime, you may think I exegarate and don't feel that way, but I do. I want to let you know that's how I feel. 

You told me this is a phase, what are we doing to this phase? We want to try thing one more time, begin again, pick up something that we thought we leave behind years ago. If we can't both tell each other this time is going to be different, then what is this all about? Or maybe we should have just leave things be?

Is there all there is to it? This so called relationship? This so called being boyfriend and girlfriend?

I'm a confused child. I think too much, talk too little when I should. Probably as much as you are if not less, I have been in and out so many bad relationships I lost hope, and just start to be really casual about things. Then somehow someway you found your way back right here, right now, I don't know what that actually means. If that means we are going to give this a try, again, I want to know how to do it so that in the end at least we can say, look, we really have tried everything and it didn't work. 

You know what I mean?

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

Then later on i found out that was so many times i have hurt people without me even realize it. I am sorry. I truly am.

Thoughtfulness for others, generosity, modesty and self-respect are the qualities which make a real gentleman or lady.

3 days 2 night; it flew by; really quickly; was it true when they say time flies when you spend it happily with someone; was it in your case? we did not even do much, talk much; you say that is not necessary; i am not resisting this; i feel a sense of peacefulness somehow; after all the storms i have faced previously; maybe i long for this; looking forward to a kind of tranquility in my next relationship, in my now relationship; i set a long list of criteria for so long that i have no longer criteria and that will be the best criteria and also the hardest; we go around the circle; in the end it is still you; YOU.

Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success.

the truth is i am just as hard to crack as you are; if not more.

It is wonderful to be in on the creation of something, see it used, and then walk away and smile at it.

What can we do to build a relationship that i have confidence in? That i can trust. That i can believe in.

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.

Hey sorry i didn't write. I just wanna tell you i was and still am upset (just a little) that you don't write enough. I don't wanna tell you what to do. I thought about it the whole night and i dont want to just complain, whine and bitch about it. So i thought if we want to make it work, this time it has to be different. So me too wanna know what can i do to make this better, instead of feeling frustrated all d time. I kind of don't blame the time zone, coz that can't be an excuse. I truly believe if someone means something to you, you will find d time. We can't keep on saying well, that's your feeling, i can't change it if u r that stubborn, i did all i could, bla bla bla, which i dont think we have. I feel happy when u genuinely make time for me, like that day when u were in KL, u were busy with work but u still want to see me and i remember that very much. U know? That sort of thing.... Anyway..... Okok... That's all. So ya that's what i wanna say. Very long note. I dun hv ur email to blast this, so i write it here.

Man has no nobler function than to defend the truth.

Im sorry for being so pessimistic, I'm just not very very positive about us, im thinking when you can't even spare a minute or two for me. Then what else is there? 

Never be haughty to the humble; never be humble to the haughty

but if you can tell me if i am being too needy; too unreasonable; too stubborn even;
then i will stop;
tell me again that why are we doing what we are doing;
just because we have feelings so we want to give it another shot;
just because we miss it the first time so we want to try again;
that hardly qualified for anything if we dont put the effort to really try again;
it does not make sense if we are trying hard enough even when this second chance comes by;
what is this all for?

people find time to people; nobody can be too busy.

that has been my personal motto all along.

i dont think you get it; i dont think you will ever get it, ever.

Perhaps love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.

I'm very upset and disappointed;

As it is you already don't write much;

I'm just expecting you to write everyday, even a little, do u mean I need to lower my expectation further;
we both adult, let's not play games;

What is there left for me to long and desire? will there ever be?

U lied. 

I don't know what to say. 

This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Everything will sounds like an excuse now.

I don't want to say it's ok, coz it's not, i dont want to be so clingy and needy.

I don't know if u understand. 

True merit, like a river, the deeper it is, the less noise it makes.

3 days off; wish we were together; sometimes not; in person you talk too much; in digital work you are not; i wonder if we keep on going with the pace we are going where will this all lead; we talk about unnecessary petty stuff; what you do; what you had for breakfast, lunch, dinner; where you go; how's your day; never in depth feeling; not that kind of way; usually polite; usually boring; usually unexciting; i still do not know exactly what you do; does it matter? you will be away for 3 weeks; i have everything and i do not have everything; too many confusions; i agree; i disagree; i dont know what i want; maybe i just want you; i just want us and that is all; that will be all. 

The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality. .

as i was telling her; i have not been beaten up in so many of my past relationships; where did it bring me? what does it give me? what have i achieved? nothing; not a single fulfilling contented loving caring relationship; so that the only one who ever beat me up and scare me to death is back in my life now; what have i got to lose? nothing; perhaps just another unfulfilled un-contented unloving uncaring relationship.

There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is, not to be true to the best one knows.

hey you; i appreciate your care; it is my fault for i have not told you the whole truth; it is very hard and unfair to judge and comment when you did not know the whole story; and yet you did; because i am a friend and you care about me; for that; i want to tell you that - i love you.

Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.

Just simply because he makes me feel special. That's all.

What was hard to bear is sweet to remember.

it's just that from now on maybe we can only talk about really shallow stuff, which is sad.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

hey. just to let you know i didn't forget about you. if i dont get to see you before you leave. have a good trip. be safe.

hi. i know you didn't. i think of you often. ill be safe.

xxx


end.

I have simply tried to do what seemed best each day, as each day came.

You have a RED personality! According to Dr. Carol Ritberger, this means that you're a "just get it done" kind of person. You are driven, competitive, and you like to be in control. You are very action-oriented, and you appreciate efficiency. Dr. Ritberger adds that as a Red, you typically hold stress and tension in your lower back.

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.

I always create this outer layer so no one can get in, until they give up, walk away then i will smile and say, i knew it, all of them are the same, just to prove i am right, sickeningly. 

If a man hasn't discovered something that he would die for, he isn't fit to live.

Pushing everyone away and see in the end who will genuinely stay.

one last time.

really a roller-coaster ride; 5 years; less than ten times of meetings; we dont even talk much; but it is not the talking; he is back into my life; he spoke; i cried; he needed to fill his void and gap before hence the violence; both our feelings are still showing; we cant deny; hence the staying; my stubbornness; wonder why he is still into me; now he realizes a lot of things along the way; 5 years is a long time; why now? i keep on asking questions, pointless questions, to him it doesn't matter; he seems to remember everything; it's not the length of thing; it's the depth; he said even if he needs to peel me like an onion for the rest of his live; he is willing to and he wants to; no one forces him to; he said let it go; let's move on; give each other and give us another chance; he said he is happy; genuinely happy; no one has asked me to stay for so many times; i am not sure if this is what i want in my life; but at this down point of my life he walks in again; i take it as a sign; of something truthful and real; finally taking place and happen for one last time.

you are...............

You are: The power of introverts.

On the outside you may appear quiet, but there’s a nonstop rollercoaster of ideas running through your mind. You simply think long and hard before you speak. Your extraordinary insights come when you’re given time to consider things on your own, which is why your five least favorite words are, "This is a group project."


he said something about me being the most misunderstood person, as if he really knows me and understand me. how i always act so tough outside but just a softie inside. i really really am.

Because of my title I was the first to enter here. I shall be the last to go out.

late night; full moon; a digital aquarium; nice cool pool; we are all alone; spending time together albeit short; we met, we hugged and we kissed goodbye.

always good to see old friend.

"smile", you said and that is all i need.

Smile.

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.

i would be lying if i say i dont feel anything; the one thing that happened; im not using it to penalise you; it's just that when people say one thing in your life that scars you for life; that's the one thing; all you can think of is i dont give another chance; everyone deserves a second chance; time come and go; people grow but they dont change; they never do, that is my fear.


my fear.

In war: resolution. In defeat: defiance. In victory: magnanimity. In peace: goodwill.

You say I should ask away, whatever in my mind, but when it reaches those emotions crazy personal questions, you don't have the energy to deal with me, you said you shouldn't have told me then you say you wanted friends to know and to each friends you have different way of telling them, what do you exactly want? i am confuse!

You said you didn't ask me to compresse, nobody ask me to do this and that, of course nobody did, I did it on my own as a friend, because I want to, but when whatever you give is not appreciated and it makes you wonder why you did what you did, basically this friendship has failed you or rather the friend that you once know and you thought you know is not exactly the friend that you know, anymore. 

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.

"no one ask you to compress your feeling, no one ask you to do that";

of course no one asked me to, but i do it anyway, because that is how i feel, because that is how i react, i dont need to wait for someone to ask me to do that, especially when that someone is a friend. when people are friends they dont need to ask for anything.

when you say that, it breaks my heart, i didnt want for you to ask me; just like how i didnt ask you if you have sleep with someone else way back when during that time we didnt sleep together, just like how i didnt ask you if you and i have the slightest possibility to be together at all, just like how i didnt ask you if you and your girlfriend will ever be happy together, just like how i didnt ask you a lot of things.

you cant even answer what sort of friend i am to you? am i just someone you hanging out for fun? am i just someone you sleep with and leave the next morning? what kind of place i hold in your heart? i am dear to you? you fancy me? will all that ever be enough? rank my importance from 1 to 10? what would you say?

because if you truly are my friend, you will let me know and you will not afraid that telling me things will break our friendship but will only make it stronger.

because if you truly are my friend, you will do everything you can so that i wont be sad

because if you truly are my friend, you will be less selfish and will not act the way you are acting right now

that if only you truly are my friend.

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

We have not been writing to each other for the longest time. Something changes between us, somehow. Tonight you told me everything but it didn't change the fact that something changes between us. The friendship, the love, everything our relationship once had. It's not about the trust, if I don't trust you, I won't be here at all. It's the kind of friend that I don't think you really treat me as, someone that cares enough to listen, to be there. i guess you dont know me well at all, all these years, very disappointing and disheartening. now that i know everything, only now you have breach that trust. i understand what ur gf really goes thru, all these while, i sympathize her, for she has trusted you but i dont know whatever between you guys enough to say anymore, i will just say i admire her truly as a woman, the suffer she has been thru, for you; years of relationship and trust, you blew it!

Two years, now that you finally told me what you have been wanted to say, I don't know why now, I don't know if it matters anymore.

I'm not the kind of friend that yell at you, telling that you did wrong, because you did, I'm sure whoever close friends you told would've already shouted at you the same thing. If you want advice, they probably have already given it to you as I can't offer you any, not something you wanted to hear, because all the things i can say will be so mean, so bad, so harsh.

Your gf had every right to be angry and has been thru for the last two years together with you on this, she is a super human, you owe her beyond anything words can say. The betrayal, the lies, if our relationship cracked, then I can't imagine what is it like for her.

You have no right to say you feel guilt towards your daughter, ur gf is right. Forget and move on with your life, leave the poor woman and her child alone. If you have thought about this today, you would've wear a condom and stop fucking around. What are you thinking? Gosh. Who do you think you are and you think because of your sperm you are entitle to be a father? You never wanted a kid anyway. you have the nerve!!!!!! What makes you so noble now? Because you have spent two years with your so called daughter, because you have develop a bond, a relationship, because you turn your back in the woman you loved for all this? is it worth it? you do not entitle to anything, not qualify to anything, nothing. Bla bla bla. Bullshit. The woman is doing the right thing, protecting her child. i would if im her too, she owes you no explanation, again, i dont know enough.

get on with your life, like you said you would, if this is all meant for you, meant to be, it will come back, if it doesnt then you know very well why.

i only know one side of the story anyway!

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them become what they are capable of becoming.

he is so right about me.
i am not afraid.
i needed someone to tell me that, out loud.
i needed to hear it.
in my face.

i am just so weak and directionless.

He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.

it's not a rare occasion; not anymore; he likes the way i dress today; tight black shirt; grey skinny jeans; friend cheated on someone; still bothering me so much; he said you want a full package but you dont want to pay full price; that's why you are getting things half cook, half bake, halfheartedly; i have trust issue; insecurity; so many negative things that i dont know how to name them; unhealthy family; gap between parents; siblings; he faced the same thing; this rendezvous is like our little emotion getaway; we cant do this too many times; it will wear us off; i agree; so until next time. 

Take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul.

i wanted to text you and let you know that:

i miss yo so so bad;

but i did not.

Goodness is a special kind of truth and beauty. It is truth and beauty in human behavior.

It was the right time. 

Last night. 

The need of being around with someone. 

To feel a human touch again.

Embracing.

Even without talking.

You were also thinking about me too;
last night; 23:10; 24062015.

It is right to be content with what we have, never with what we are.

“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”

― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.

“To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.” ~ Eva Young

Determine that a thing can and shall be done, and then we shall find the way.

we never really let each other into each other's life in a real way anyway.

this 4 month is so crucial for us to realise things.

then we miss it.

we did.

we do.

we are.

Activity and sadness are incompatible.

that day you chose to take a break from me;
it makes me realise that we have to keep a clean cut;
that i no longer part of your life;
that you have made a decision for me not to involved;
that i am convince that we are no longer together;
that we whatever we do doesnt matter;
no matter how bad we are missing each other;
life happens when you are busy making plan;
that is what is happening right here, right now.

life.
goes.
on.

we.
move.
on.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

You already gone way past the sure point. 

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

I miss you.

This is the time i need you and we both need each other the most.

Every single day passes without us talking to each other is an absolutely waste of time.

What is there to see?
What is there to think about?

It's either we want or we do not want to be with each other.
The rest we can fix it.
Once we have determined the answer.

And yet we didn't.
We never do.
Never will.
Never be.

Anger is a prelude to courage.

I know but I don't understand.

What is it that we need to figure it out.

I think secretly and consciously you like the idea of doing everything by yourself, on your own.

Certain things you need someone else, most things you don't.

I really can not comprehend why two people like and miss each other, can't be together. 

It it something hard to swallow.

Until I know the exact reason why,

Pls do not write me and telling me that you miss me.

You will only make me sad, very very sad.

A friend is one who sees through you and still enjoys the view.

and this is the time we need each other the most.

at least i think so.

you still write me and say you miss me.

that makes me very very sad.

i would like you to stop now.

please.

The force is within you. Force yourself.

- letting me know (you also letting all your close friends know)
- listen to what i say (you also listen to what your close friends have to say)
- make decision as a couple and reach consensus, together (this if we ARE a couple, only we can do, but are we?) having a say means i get to make the decision too.

these are 3 different things altogether.

we can argue our case to no end deciding if we are a couple or not.

if you want sincere loyal friends, like the three of your closest friends, me too, can be another.

i feel no place here, not as your girl friend (maybe you dont feel like my boyfriend too), this is what i am trying to tell you. by leaving me out and have you, yourself dealing with it all doesn't cause any ease, you are sidelining me and it creates doubt in this relationship. i cant bear to see you get hurt and sad. it makes me sad. i feel bad i cant be there for you and help you thru, this is what people do when they emotionally attach.



it will be tough, but time will heal. it always does.

The ability to concentrate and to use time well is everything.

我没有想到；

原来；

你；

已经；

改变了我。

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half sorrow.

Today last year, you thought you would've found someone that you can be with, live with, help you with, little did you know that part never comes easy.

You can buy someone, but will that be real? Will that last? Will that be love?