Man's main task is to give birth to himself.

17 October 18:26
Day 2

Didn't manage to get more sleep after waking up at four in the morning, didn't dare to even toss and turn, the misery of sharing a bed with friend, afraid that I might wake my friend up. Anyway, got up 7am, getting ready for the day, took a shower and everything, feeling fresh, hope the jet lag feeling won't come back later to force me to sleep early.

My friend has some business that he needs to settle so we went out separate way, I was out on my own at 9am, along with my bag of stuff- book, notebook, iPad, phone, camera, water, a bit heavy but essential things that I kinda can't do without maybe after today I'll figure out what a must bring and what is not, else the load will kill me.

Walking about St. Marco Square again, in fact just the square itself and all those little alleys will take you days to explore and walk about if you chose to, I did a bit of a walk because I have to meet with my friend back at Arsenale by noon, so I decided to just walk back and stroll along his favorite stretch of street in Venice. I walk around and see all these wifi sign, then I know I gotto settle down in on to get the connection, within minutes I walk back again and pick a cafe name- Caffe India, I order myself a cup of tea and wifi away. Check mails and return some whatapps message plus to let mum n dad n bro know that I'm all safe. I was really enjoying the sun and feeling so great sitting by the roadside with my tea, people watching and the shop actually handle by two young Chinese fella. My friend actually told me this is probably some mafia behind the scene money business, but I couldn't care less. What I don't understand is that he might be right for all I know, because he is from here, but just that sometimes why can't people just see things in a more positive light, I wonder.

Then my friend arrived and we decided to grab lunch before we go for more walk around, from the stretch of street we picked one that run by a small family, look very busy and local, we order some sour lemony marinated light grilled beef (which is young beef, looks exactly like chicken and taste also quite similar, the inky difference is I need to chew more and the meat is tougher). Although a small family restaurant, the pricing isn't any cheaper compared to other restaurant, according to my friend. Then again he already told me upfront about eating out in Italy that it will cost quite a fair but where by a normal meal would probably cost u about 50-60 ringgit where with that money you can get something very decent back home.

We chat a bit more during lunch about the walk that we are going ton take later, I have with my some top list if places to visit and map which comes in very handy. I'm not too obsessive about Must See, so my friend and I really just taking it easy with a slow pace, no hurry, which is the way I proffered to travel. I also decided to get the bill coz after all I won't be here if it's not because of my friend, so I think it's appropriate to buy him lunch as a gesture if appreciation.

Even with the walk around the square, I know he might be joking, I know he might be teasing, but there's a lot of whining and complaint in the end making me feel bad about certain things: I should perhaps take the boat, even though he said he is ok to walk, asking me opinion about places I want to visit but being vaguely coy, he could've just suggested the place and ask me whether I want to go, after all he is the local, I'm not, too many times he playing the sorts of democrats game and want to ask ur opinion for it but in the end kind if made it worse. I probably should've let him know that money is not an issue. Train fast or slow, to visit museum with a few or to take boat that you need to okay to somewhere else to visit, etc etc. maybe it's just me who thinks too much, I always do.

Anyway, I was glad I have him to guide me around, I shoot a lot of photos until my camera went flat on me, lucky I have my iPad and phone, anyway with that I really can't thank him enough, the day tour was great, walk around literally for half a day, that we both know is going to hurt our legs and feet, some willingness actually won't hurt, but instead I heard complaint jokingly, which I don't know if I should take it seriously or.........?

Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it cures.

Caffe India at our fav street in Venice. Garabaldi
October 17, 2013, 12noon

如果这是你所谓的爱，那么我应该怎么办呢？我想其实我们在很久以前你和我之间已经断定了这一段不寻常的关系。这是一种不一样的友情吧，你说我们不应该很刻意地去给这段感情一个标签，但如果这并不是爱，那是什么呢？对我这样一个是非黑白分明的人来说灰色地带会让我很痛苦的，就像现在这样。

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

16 October 2013 14.20
Day 1

1 hour before landing, checking out the weather outside by my 10A window seat, the weather is so gorgeous, blue sky, white cloud, the sea, coastline of Italy, everything, it really didn't quite hit me that I am going to be in Europe soon. I seated next to a girl that work in Shanghai and now back to Italy for some exams. She looks a bit cold but in fact was really friendly because she was playing with this little Chinese baby and trying to speak Chinese to her. I ended her asking her about direction for the boat that I need to talk after I land.

It wasn't difficult at all t the airport, I spotted my backpack right away, got the port details and head out to buy the boat ticket at the counter, the cashier was friendly and she speaks English. The boat ride costs me 15euro, but it's a good way to get around Venice, I heard. I got the direction that I should take left after I got out from the airport and walk straight until the end where I will find the boat, I got there without any problem and board right away. Later I found out from my friend actually the 15euro is the airport changers for boat, if you get it from the outside the rate will be much cheaper, that doesn't come as a surprise at all.

I texted my friend letting him know I will be there soon, the excitement slowly comes to me at this point as the boat cruise around the canal and passing by a lot of buildings, the sound of the water, the people on the boat, families, couples young and old all come here in Venice be it for holiday, business or coming home. As the boat cruise i feel the chill on my face with a ray of warm sun, Venice is beautiful.

After about 75min, I arrived at my stop Arsenale, where I saw my friend and his friend both waited there, it's a wonderful feeling to see a friend especially in his own country. We greet, hug each other and he was asking me about the flight and all, plus also made fun of me on my bigger than me back pack. Well, I really did pack light and I don't want to be underprepared knowing the weather condition is much much different than my own country.

After a short few minutes walk we arrived at vicenzo home, it's really nice and comfortable, right smack in the center of Venice where everywhere is easily accessible. I drop my bag and chit chat for a while with them as in Italy is a normal work day, so I have this luxury of having a vacation while other people working. How nice is that. So then everyone go about minding their own business, going to doctor, meeting deadline, that left my friend and I. After which he asked me what's the plan, where I really just leave it up to him to decide. I wasn't particularly hungry and the jet lag hasn't hit me, so we decided to grab a bag and walk around the canal a bit more where one of the top tourist reaction is just few minutes away.

Everyone in Venice walk. So if you don't like to walk you shouldn't be in Venice, good thing is I like to walk. We memorize the little street so that we will not get lost and can't find our way back home. Then we started to walk where my friend slowly tell me about the surroundings, some history and background of the building as much as he could, I know he's not an expert, tour guide or anything, I appreciate it and listen to it as much as I can, but overall I just really snapping pictures away, really enjoying the view and Venice. It feels surreal and quite amazing to finally be here. It's really nice to see you I told my friend, in another way, this way.

We walk about about 30-45min the day is getting dark, so we slowly walk back to get ready for dinner, we chatting about nothing in particular, just updating each other about our lives, work, financial crisis, English grammar, playing catch up and all, exactly like how it suppose to be. Just that we've been friend for quite a while, it'll be unnatural not to do all that.

So in a foreign country, you have the intention to act local eat local, drink local, so my friend and I walk along his favorite street in Venice where i kinda understand why he likes it because that like the most street like looking street, unlike all the little back alley. We went into a small little bar, he ordered for me a drink called Spritz where it's a type of drink typically venician will have, but to my taste bud  it's just bitter. So I don't take that so we'll, but if enjoy tryi new thing nevertheless. Then we pack up a few mini burgers and it's time to go home.

I really do nothing much after coz the jet lag hits me real hard that I went to bed at 8pm, I said good night to everyone and hoping that tomorrow will be a better day........then now here I am typing in this entry at 6am in the morning where I have already woken two hours before.

Jet lag oh jet lag, let's hope it gets better, coz my friend here just snoring away beside me.......oh we'll, let me try and get another hour of sleep then.

Ciao!

Good order is the foundation of all things.

16 October 6:41am; Doha airport

A nine hour transit and I'm in Doha. He got me a wrong check in envelope pocket, I should've gotten the yellow one, instead I received something called premium transfer, the word premium was never in my life. Nothing premium happening in my life before let alone I'm going to apply to become premium user or anything. Made couple of drop to reach at the correct departure/ transfer gate.

Doha airport is under construction yet it's still kind of neat and systematic. It is after all an airport I guess it needs to be. When I landed I witnessed the most incredible night view from the 18k window seat from my flight, sat beside a young man that wears a sort of traditional cologne and a light blue watch, zero communication other than the time to the loo.

Airport is such an interesting place, people watching to its max, reminds me of a tom hank's movie - the terminal and I'm already thinking what to watch on the flight to Venice........the great gatsby perhaps.


P/s: watched the way way back, monster university and 7 min of German movie - oh boy! I should finish that too.

Live always in the best company when you read.

15 October 20:03 pm; KLIA

Another year passed and with a lot of things happened, looking back most important was about the house and from there you actually realise who are the one always by yourself, supporting you no matter what, that's family.

It's time for my so called annual overseas trip once more, I didn't make it to UK last year and this year I am ambitious - Italy.

With all the prior checking and arrangement now I'm sitting here outside of Gate C36 which located at the far end of KLIA where I have to actually hop on a train to get here.

I'm happy, relief more like, sitting here quietly on my own, looking away.

The bus that took me here actually detour to city center to pick up some other passenger, a place where I used to wait for bus to go to work- Pudu Raya. It has changed a lot, from what I see it was street full of foreign workers. When the bus stopped everyone just rushing up the bus like nobody business afraid that there might be no seat for them, at the end a whole bunch of them manage to fill up the whole bus and one actual tourist that suppose to get on the bus to the airport able to squeeze himself in with a special isle seat.

On the way to the airport only then I realize the bus driver actually dropping this whole bunch of foreign workers to a construction site not far away from the airport, that kind of made me smile and knowing that these workers actually have a way to get out of the place so far away to the city center via a type of public transportation that wasn't actually meant to be.

After the bus driver drop them off, KLIA is next, I arrive on time safe and sound, thanks to the online check in, I just need to drop my bag at the counter and the guy at the counter was super friendly, his name is Hazly. He helped me check in my bag and sort of chit chatting about travelling because he saw my passport with quite a number of stamps. I just smile and say he will have his opportunity, but he said his kind of work taking up too much of his time, that's airport life. I guess at the end of the day as long as you enjoy what you are doing, that's the best reward of all. I am also lucky that I able to gain as much travel as I can by work and personally.

Well, my boarding time is 20:10, now it's 20:03, think I will conclude my page one travelogue for now......until I'm in Doha, that's few hours fight from KL and nine hour waiting time in Doha airport before my next flight to Venice. I can't wait!

We are always in search of the redeeming formula, the crystallizing thought.

don't remember when it started really; all the things you said made sense; you should not wait; how am i to know you are not busy if you didn't tell me; am i at it again? do i start now with you? for real; to get hurt again; to have feeling again; to fall again; you touch me when you say two is better than one, so lets!

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goals; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.

it's not even something i entitle for and yet i fall for it again, again and again; i cant help myself; that's this charm around you and me; just so happened again you texted me by invitation i tag along with your mum this time even; u wearing a nice new shirt new gift from mum; having one too many beer and way too many pizzas; it wasn't the best performance but i guess i am just happy to see you; we we're making some more plans; you were talking about size; which is quite rare; so that i realise size does matter; to every men and every women; i guess sometime in life we are just meant to be having the kind of relationship with someone you really like/ love that you will find it forever weird but comfortable; and with you i do find comfortable but less weird as we go on, really.

The greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising up every time we fall.

.....and your job is so easy, she said;
but please, if you dont know anything about my job;
just shut up, bitch!

He felt that he could forgive anything to anyone, because happiness was the greatest agent of purification.

he really didnt need to say much; he invited me over; his mum is around; i dont care; had dinner together; not a single word; i dont understand why i need to decide; he is adult enough and yet so indecisive; i hate that about him; all these while i know for a fact that; i always fall for the wrong man.

It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations.

is not too crazy if i want to see you again, right?
it is, but it's lovely crazy;
eventhough when you are feeling unwell.

How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression.

sex is great; he wrote on the mirror

There is a lot more to life than just struggling to make money.

U said u miss me; Faster than i; Maybe u really miss me more than i realized; i dont actually care anymore to be honest; It has been four weeks our away time; I thought u fixed the thing u were supposed to but u said u didn't and it was really difficult; i dont buy it; thats just a shit loads of crap; All I heard is just excuses; But i see you not long after again in 4 days time and we are planning a trip; long away trip, for real this time.

If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

was chatting for months;
finally realising we should do it;
then we did;
you can't stop praising me;
i know all along im a gem and a keeper;
too bad for those who never know me better.

Acquire inner peace and a multitude will find their salvation near you.

七点整；same trick; same msg; same reply; same decision; when can i get over you; probably never; 带了啤酒；就你要吃晚餐；原来其实就算我不用做任何的决定；你也很自然而然的想知道我的想法；最后去吃汉堡；知道你就快要走了；没有问；都你自己说；你的剧本；不同的故事；没什么新奇至少对我而言；我没有说；你必须离开解决一些问题一些已经在你生命中缠着你很久的问题；必须解决但从来没有解决；那算什么呢；是你没有决心；太自私；where is the commitment? where is the compromise? where is the love? where? where? where? i dont get it; 在你离开前我们还来得及在一起；will you ever get bored of me? i dont think so; what about you? not yet, i dont think so; but dont you think is a good thing; maybe we should get bored of each other then figure out a way to not get bored with each other; im not even bored of you; what are you talking about? 但你有意无意每一次的触摸；让我就这样情不自禁地；心甘情愿地；但我没有我真的没有。

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

那天你来电；约我到一个朋友的生日会；我只为和你喝喝酒；原来你还没有念我的来讯；竟然心有灵犀；你说月尾会去巴黎；要做一个交代；已经没有了什么期望；上次你还是快乐的回来；我总天真地相信着如果你对一段感情真的执著；你会想尽办法无论如何去和你爱的那个人在一起；我没有在你身上看见你说的那份爱和那股勇气；我只能默默的祝福你。

The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty and truth.

你放不下尊严自尊你害死的只有你自己。

Friendship was given by nature to be an assistant to virtue, not a companion to vice.

U called and we make a date. 8plus. All intentional. We know what we want. So it happens much quicker now. No sighing. No questions. No hassle. No doubt. Both our mind are clear on what we are going to get. So then cut the crap and bullshit go right to the point. Everything happened and it only took less than 120minute. No more. No less.

I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's.

i can be a real mean bitch if i want, but i wont coz im better than that!

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.

就提早了四天为你庆祝生日；买了一份你喜欢的礼物；一套香氛很年轻味道的香氛；一起去喝啤酒大快朵颐一堆食物；你有很多烦恼还是有很多烦恼；都几年了以为你和女朋友有了新的计划说好你们又在一起了就应该朝着这个方向去努力吧；但你胆怯犹豫；你五十二了我不会教你怎么做；你亦没有问我没有对我说；我没有要猜没有要烦；就和你在一起今晚；今晚。

I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile.

but what i didnt tell you is; i have been doing fine all by myself all this time and i dont really need you to be here to fuck up my life; so if this is really happening between you and me, this has got to be it; this is really a trust issue; if you can get thru this then i believe we can get thru everything and anything; i miss you so terribly and so much that you have no idea how many times i look at your "i miss you" message and i wanted to cry because i am forcing myself not to reply; not to say a word just to let you prove to me that you are man enough to pick up the mess, fix it and come back to me, i am just a normal average human being; i just a woman afraid to get hurt just the same; i dont want to be hurt; not anymore; so tomorrow will be the moment of truth.

We read frequently if unknowingly, in quest of a mind more original than our own.

It's been a month; Deep down inside we know that feeling; We've been missing each other so much; U text me so we went out for dinner; Had burger; U telling story about ur trip and how u r making progress with ur girl. also about some lousy movie; you haven't changed one bit; I'm happy for u; I also was telling u how I sort of seeing someone then I don't know if you are happy for me; U wanted to know all; But as usual we made up for old time for the month we didn't see each other; U miss me so so much when there's time u can't stop thinking about me n u want me; U r dependent to me so much; I hope that's a good thing; We r adult enuff to know what we r doing and u told me there's nothing wrong to make love to someone u r really into even if it's two of them; i used to think it's wrong but now i agree; not anymore; all of this because you said: you are my drug.

there are still so many helper and kindness in this world, so so so many.

I feel like a lot of people have this impression that you have to spend your twenties fucking up and spending your time on people you don’t care about and making weird gambles with your heart just to have stories to tell, and I can’t relate to that. I can’t deal with that mentality. So if I’m single for a long time, I’m single for a long time. But fuck, man. I want to be honored to be in the room with a dude, ya know? I want to feel privileged to have that person laugh at my joke and poke holes in my arguments and spend their weekend afternoon with me, and if that means lamping and spending time with my friends and getting really good at being my best self, then fine. Fuck it. At the end of the day I’d rather have done a really good job at that than at taking a million desperate swings at shitty pitches just because the thought of being alone terrifies me so much.

source

For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes.

17042013； 19:41； 电话响起；是为你特设的铃声；在做什吃了吗？唔，正在吃；这个时候其实没想到你会打来；对啊其实想起你再看看钟都已经几点钟了你当然在吃我在忙都忘了时间；你在解释着；我没在意其实有时候你更迟打给我我还是愿意出来的；就是从未拒绝过你；吃完饭干嘛；没干嘛；来我这吧；好，买酒就过来；唔，待会儿见；我听你笑着说；习惯了就是这样就没有再怎么样了；一切如常；你要是开始见着别人我也是不会怪你的；完事后陪你去吃快餐说着说那的扯上了重复的音乐；过后就回了你一封电邮；然后就突然记起我以前写过的一句话：people hate the same thing but they get comfortable with routine…..and im deeply addicted with this routine of being with you, deeply.

The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.

U r not so simple;  did you meant to say I am difficult or hard to deal with. It seems to you im not as simple a thinker,  there's something more than that from me;  which is hard for you to figure.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

i really love my parents; this is me talking now; as of this moment; right after i put down the phone with my mum; 14042013; 10:10, i really do and i mean it.

We are not living in a movie

We're not even living in a lousy reality show.

Entertainment has seduced us into believing that we have a chance to live the life they live in the movies. Even the people in the movies don't live that life.

It doesn't take 135 minutes to make a life, it takes almost a century.

Everything doesn't depend on what happens in the next ninety seconds. Ever.

The people around us don't live secret lives. Spaceships and evil cowboys and pathogens aren't going to upend the world tomorrow, either.

Life is actually far better than it is in the movies. And it takes longer.

source

They leave me and I love them more.

"I’m not fine as in fine, but fine as in you don’t have to worry about me."
- Dr. Gregory House  (via natashakills)

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.

"Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breath in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes."

source

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real

I miss u lots every time we see each other and after, I always think how u make me laugh. :D
Then three weeks no news from u makes me not miss you coz I thought maybe u forget us. :(
Afterwards now the missing feeling comes back again. :)
So pls tell me what should we do so we will keep on missing each other? :-/

No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded.

又怎么着；又是那一招；晚了你来电；吃个饭吧；下着雨；乱乱随便地吃了些马来煮炒；买了酒给你；就像是这个以后都成为了我的工作一样；我不打紧；我也没有很紧张；和你看了两本你的旧相簿；因为看见在桌上；我问；你没有反对；你为我说着每一张照片你几岁；我没太在意；你说有时看着照片里的你不像自己；我说现在老多了；你有时也想太多了吧也可能是你的年龄；有些是你不愿提起的大多数是旧女友的照片；有多少个也不愿说；应该有过很多但干我什么事呢；还有看到你的良师- Vicenzo； 也有想念他了其实；不过真的想和你去somewhere but dont know where；我没有提因为你也没有；然后我们聊着别的那件事像是在聊着一个science experiment；不如就试试因为我们亦不明白到底是什么原因；最后你还是就做了就试了；就这样；然后你对我说；lemme know; 我假装没有听见。

You make it hard for me to turn you away and that is so unfair;

No matter how far you travel or how much you run from it, can you ever really escape your past?

I could talk all day long about the news, givin' you the current affairs or my views.
I could talk all night long about a song, givin' you the pointers on where you're goin' wrong.
I could talk all year long about the net, sendin' you the links I think you haven't seen yet.
I'd like to tell you things that I think you've never heard but there are no words.

I could talk all day long about dreams, sewing up your heart so you never see a seam.
I could talk all day about politics, all of the corruption, clean hands, dirty tricks.

But what can I say about something that blows me away without it soundin' like another cliché?
From what I've seen and I've heard, when it comes to you, baby no, there are no, there are no words.
There are no words.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you.

I could talk all day long about life, after so many wars how we're all still alive.
I could speak all night long about the world, how it took me thirty years just to find one girl.
I could shoot shit for days all about guitars, a Gibson or a Fender, it depends on who you are.
But when I try to say somethin' that you never heard, there are no words.

I could burn your ear off all about space and why we have a moon, why the moon has a face.
If the earth is spinnin' why we all stay in place
Why we can't walk walk, it's gotta be a space race.

But what can I say that’s gonna blow her mind away?
Gotta write a classic not a throwaway.
All I’ve seen, all I’ve heard, when it comes to you there are no, there are no, there are no words.
There are no words.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world to describe you.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you.

There are no words to describe or define what’s inside you, your feeling, your vibe
Believe me I’ve tried to break you down to a science
See you in my mind and I open my mouth and it’s silence
I can articulate a Shakespeare poem
Even though know I didn’t know him I can see where he was goin’
And where he’s comin’ from I can even catch his flow and then I think of you
I don’t know where this metaphor is goin’
Cuz there ain’t no words you can understand, only lovers can
You can ask the professor and the madman
If they couldn’t find the words, no one can
All I’ve seen, all I heard
When it comes to you there’s just no, just no words

Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you
That describes you.
Yeah I swear this much is true, there ain't no word in this world that describes you.
There ain’t no
There ain’t no

Abundance is, in large part, an attitude.

do me a favor this morning.
draw the curtain and come back to bed.
forget the coffee.
we'll pretend we're in a foreign country, and in love.


~   “The Road” by Raymond Carver, from Where Water Comes Together With Other Water

prolific...........it seems.

It has been so long but I haven’t changed
I have been loving you for six long years
You better be prepare
I’m not planning to stop this at all
You can say im unambitious
Or that I have nothing better to do
How precious it is to have someone you could love
I don’t mind if you are not giving me a chance
I have my whole life to waste anyway
I have this little bit of stubbornness in me
That’s my biggest advantage
It’s alright you don’t need to feel bad
Perhaps I just like to be wasted by you
I don’t care who you will keep on loving today
I will just accept it as it is
Im fine to waste another 10 years with you
You and him didn’t work out
Broke up after six short month
My love didn’t change
Im impressed by me
I have too much resources
I have too much time
It’s a waste if I don’t love
I don’t mind if you are not giving me a chance
I have my whole life to waste anyway
I have this little bit of stubbornness in me
That’s my biggest advantage
It’s alright you don’t need to feel bad
Perhaps I just like to be wasted by you
Even if I work really hard to fall for someone
In the end will be a waste
Might as well be happier drag along with you
Right?

We each have all the time there is; our mental and moral status is determined by what we do with it.

和他第五次见面; 是他先说要见我; 有一点意外; 我都对彼此有好感不然不会迫不急待想要见到对方; 和他没这没那的聊了一堆; 就没有再提起他家里的事; 我们都很清楚以后都不会再提起了; 何必呢? 都是成年人了知道该说什么问什么; 分寸的拿捏; 没有什么好为难的了; 这些是我们不要说都知道的。

Do not be afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.

几个月后的今天我们才再见面,在那间我们常去咖啡厅,你黑咖啡我绿茶,你问我为什么没有再喝咖啡了,然后我只是说不再喜欢了。
再来聊起我们之前提过去旅行的事,你说为什么不提醒你,何必自讨苦吃呢,明明已经知道你忙了,在要去之前我还在装,庆幸我没有问, 你说你很忙,朋友会来,几把在一个月内要完成的bass,24到25你将离开一个月,那你还想我说什么呢?放弃吗?不再理你吗?为什么要这样笨这样坚持这样傻,有用吗?值得吗?

Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.

26032013; 我一早就传了简信给你； 整整一天了；你没回；想你应该是很忙了；傍晚8时许；你传简信我没回你来电就相约吃饭；其实真的是有想念你了；见了你才知道原来你今天倒霉透了；我笑笑；你累了；我从你眼里看得见；遗忘了锁匙；弄错了低音吉他；这个那个的让你忙了一整天累坏了；我说这样我们不用见啊；那你可以在家好好休息；你却说今天已经糟透了能见到你会是今天最好的事；我还为我们拿不定要吃什么而争吵了十分钟有一点儿纳闷；可你也还是在乎的；然后就在聊聊我聊聊你；我没有很忙；我没有问起我们是不是真的去旅行；我说我最近常常看新闻；我有的没的问起一些他国的经济状况；你耸耸肩有一搭没一搭的；我讲讲大选没有太在意；然后说起吉隆坡生活水准真的是越来高；你说和美国某一个州比起便宜百倍；but there's no kiddo there; 其实我第一遍就已经听见了；但是我在装； huh? 什么；然后你又没好气的说了两遍；应该是有意思的吧；不然就骗骗我讨我开心吧；我真的是很容易满足的；而你一直在说的就是很想我而已；我想那已经够了；够了。

Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.

20032013; 1930； 交通阻塞让我想推去这个约；庆幸没有；第四次见面；TGIF； 两份餐都没能将食物吃完；以后我们得叫一份一起吃； 我有一些犹豫；顾虑； 焦虑； 他一眼即看出来了；有什么坦白说；不要浪费时间；我心里面在想你已经是第几个我在一起的已婚男人了；他们都和我很有感觉彼此承诺过渡过了一些时光；他又是一个已婚男人这一点我确实很在意。

但他只一句 - 和我在一起开心吗？

开心。

这样；就够了；因为我清楚知道什么是我在乎的。

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.

you cannot do this kind of thing;
you cannot let me hanging;
but you did.

But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.

Stick with the program;
I hate the program;
Me too but that's something we have to do;
U miss me again u said;
Doing that thing I normally don't allow u to do;
But u feel like it with me and u only doing it to me;
We went out, had beers;
isn't life the same at the end?
People get so sick with routine but they end up doing things they normally do anyway.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

我和你见了才两次面；
第一次咖啡；
第二次电影；
你的风趣让我对你有一些好感；
说好不要再如此轻易地坠入任何一个象这样的陷阱；
但我就是那么脆弱那么容易动摇的人；
再一次见面我们吻了对方；
我没有对你很坦白；
而我却咄咄逼人的想要知道你的更多；
然后你问我为什么；
有很重要吗我说；
当然，你认真地回答着；
我们才认识一个星期而已啊；
那好你说就当我们认识了六个月好吗？
这怎么能当呢？
其实我没有对你说出一切
我是很清楚知道的；
因为如果我还是象以往一样奋不顾身的栽在一个人的手里；
我会很伤很伤；
而你亦没有向我确实认定我们之间的关系；
在这发生之前我想我们还是好好去过着彼此的生活吧；
往后的事就先等往后再说好了；
所以我为自己留了一点余地；
那条一如往常我最终会选择的后路。

I believe that freedom is the deepest need of every human soul.

I forget since when. 

U missing me still.
We went to the same place.
Unintentionally.
Surprise we didn't bump into each other.
I never share with u my plan and u never share yours.
The timing is different. Never intervene with each other at all.
Unlike some people they can travel on impulse. I have much to think about. Matching time n schedule with my friends. To plan.
Then u decided a date and say lets go one of the weekend. Hope this time is for real.

The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves.

U told me its important
And I trusted u
Coz I just care too much
I love u so in a way that u will never ever know

Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.

我不知道你有没有觉得好一些；
但是；
我能够做的就是如此而已；
世界上总会有一些人；
他们的出现让你看清楚一些真相；
我希望你会因此变得更坚强、快乐；
everyone deserves a 2nd chance; you included.
no matter what; i love you.

Discovery consists in seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.

1900, none of us was late; u passed by; didn't see me; u called; i answered; quiet hotel lounge; coffee; orange juice; u smoke; didn't bother me; was a nice short meet up session; talking about what makes you happy and what do u like; to me that's two totally different things; u seem serious; know what u want; no bullshit type; i like it that way; be straight forward; stick what u want; u r in the process of getting something off; already seem determine we are attracted to each other; u want to plan the next meet up already; i just need time.

that's all i need.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

那种忐忑不安的感觉；说好了不让它再回来的；我在角落静静地喝着我的咖啡；你没有来我很在意；就一通短讯就好；有那么难吗？我和你根本不相称不相符；我不喜欢你喜欢的；你有难言之隐；你被很多事情困扰；你是工作狂；你总会抽时间来见见我即使是30分钟也好；我其实也很高兴见到你；在多次拉扯纠缠不清的情况下；你还想我怎样呢；我只能对你心存感激；淡淡然像朋友一样的感激。

Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.

you never tell me what happen and what to do;
you just walk out of my life;
disappear.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

you look just so sexy and i especially like your pink underwear;
if she is not in the picture getting in our way;
would i be the one who is being with you right here right now?

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

i have the opportunity to go away;
i dont know what you would do;
i just know you are going to shoot me dead.

A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it.

你借用了我的车子；有的没有的再一次说着你的visa;低音吉他；印尼；新加坡；泰国；很慢；我也免疫了；你想我说什么呢；我们一而再再而三的误解了对方；你以为我去你家；我以为你来接我；怎么会错呢？讯息就好好写着呐；你很喜欢我；我将这一份好感变作了感激；下车时我没有问你；我只是说have a nice day；我依然故我的测试着你；我问起她；她五月会过来；那我算什么呢；再问下去有用吗；有答案吗；我们坐在吧台哪儿；三杯酒；killkiney;一份fisn n chips; checking out your wood; 你却把我惹笑了；而其实我心里面在哭。

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

还是说不吧；
我也只不过是凡人一个呀；
就认真的做着自己吧；
很多人对你有期望的其实；
也算是一个交代吧！